Fourty Fervid Flammules
by Purplela Vanilla
Summary: There's approximately "fourty glowing little flames" that have occurred between an sprightly sponge's and spirited squirrel's life. Concerning Bob and Sandra, some flammules can be quite tepid "T" whilst others are blazing "M". [SBxSC]
1. Love Potion 1

Disclaimer: I can hope, wish and dream that I own SpongeBob, but it's just wishful thinking. Stephen Hilenburg is the owner.

Warning: If you do not want your childhood of SpongeBob SquarePants being ruined, then please do not read this fanfic! This story **will** feature very **"suggestive"** moments between SpongeBob and Sandy. The slogan to is 'unleash your mind' and well, that's what I've done.

A/N: Hello to any readers who have previously read my other SpongeBob stories and welcome in to new readers present. 'TTT' **will** feature **"suggestive"** situations between a yellow sponge and brown-furred squirrel. Some chapters will vary in perspectives. The only challenge for me will be keeping them in character. Wish me luck! [This chapter can be considered safe, there isn't anything naughty going on...yet]

**Title:** Love Potion 1

* * *

There's only one word that describes this challenge I have upon me; impossible. I let out a cry of frustration 'cause two pounds of manure really won't fit in a one-pound sack. These two yellow flappin' critters are really drivin' me up the edge, despite how beautiful they look. The institution of Natural Sciences in Hawaii has given me a challenge. Now, I love challenges, I thrive on it, but this project of biology is really one on chemistry.

In the scientific lab which I've constructed in mah tree dome. I'm slumped in chair with mah head rested on the white marble table. Mopin' about is definitely out of mah character. As I'm sittin' in a blue mood, mah perceptive nature don't register the squeaky steps of clean, black shoes beside me.

"Whatcha doin' Sandy?" asks my yellow friend.

"Mopin'," I mumble.

"Moping? That doesn't sound like you." he states. He also shakes his head. "The Sandy I know would never mope around if something's wrong."

With mah face fully on the table, I arc my head around to look at him.

"Oh, really? What would the Sandy y'all know do?" I question. SpongeBob places a hand under his chin and actually starts to think. Mock-think, I think.

"Well...she is a multi-talented scientist alongside inventor and black-belt karate specialist."

My head leaves the marble table. I start to glare at him because nothin' he has said is anythin' new or inspirin'.

"So what if I am? It don't really solve my lil' crisis 'ere."

"Think about it." he stresses. "To be scientist, you're really smart. To be an inventor, you're really talented and to be a black belt in karate, you're really determined. Mopin' dosen't come under any of those roles."

_'I guess he does have a point.'_

"You've got all the characteristics and more to find a solution to this crisis of yours. You know you do and I know you do." he says, finishing his speech.

I have to look behind me and face mah two crisis's so he doesn't see my blush. It's just the way he says what he says that uplift me in so many ways. His speech is honest, pure and just plain ol' him. It makes me melt a little. Who am I kiddin'? It's more than a little; it's a lot. I'll analyse my 'tiny' crush on him later 'cause I've found the solution already.

As soon as mah feet touch the ground, I'm scramblin' quicker than a city cat chased by dogs, finding all mah equipment to start on a motivational liquid substance. When I look at SpongeBob staring at his shoes and casting his gaze here and there, I shake mah head. Subtly never worked for him.

I call out to him. "Wanna help me with this solution I'm makin', Lab Partner?"

He face gleams all too brightly. "I'd be delighted too, but what about Patrick?" he says, pointing out to the pink star.

I peer behind SpongeBob and see Patrick havin' the time of his life, bouncin' and lickin' a purple ball on mah grass. Allowin' SpongeBob in the laboratory has guaranteed a fifty percent chance of somethin' breakin' into pieces. If I allow his partner in crime to come in too, then there's a hundred percent chance that mah whole tree dome will explode somehow.

"Let him be." I reply. "T'me, he seems to be havin' the time of his life back there."

.

.

I nod my head at him. Slowly, SpongeBob adds the enzyme to the two tubes boiling over the fire. As I predicted, the once red liquid turns pink and SpongeBob's blue eyes widen over the colour change. Randomly, I note that I haven't really explained to SpongeBob the crisis and I'm quite thankful I won't have to, at least not in detail. I'd hate to corrupt his innocence and explain to him that this solution we're makin' is a powerful sexual stimulant that'll knock out the two rare and endangered Hawaiian yellow birds, so that once they wake up, both of the birds will feel an immense sexual desire which will lead the two to procreate. The only reason it'll work on the birds is because both of them (it can be one individual), have quite the relationship with each other. If he does inquire further, I'll just tell him that this substance is just a strong love potion. That'll have to do.

"So, now we just put this pink liquid in their favourite food and then they'll just eat it all up." I nod mah head at what he says. "Okay then, I just have one question though. Why do the birds need to eat this pink stuff?"

I'm unprepared for this, even though I was prepared mentally a few seconds ago. "Well," I drawl out for as long as I possibly can. "You see, this lil' pink drink is a, it's a, um...a potion!"

"Potion?" he questions.

"Yea, a love potion." I claim with more confidence. "We scientists do this all the time. This potion is to help these two birds fall in love." _'More like make love.'_ I say in my mind.

"Aww, I thought all there was to science was atoms and test tubes. It's about love too."

Of course, only he has the ability to see the bright side of everythin'.

.

.

His worryin' self stretches the grin across mah face wider. "What if the liquid gets into my bubble helmet? Will I fall in love with one of the birds?"

"No, silly. On the probability scale, it's impossible for the love potion to affect you for two reasons. One, it has absolutely no effect on sea critters. If you were to take a lil' sip, you'd feel nuthin'." I raise two fingers at him now. "Two, yer bubble helmet is full of sea water, this pink substance is like oil. I'll let you know that water and oil don't and never have mixed at all," I go further in the explanation. "Oil is made up of non-polar molecules whilst water's molecules are pure in nature."

He seems to be much more relaxed now. He was in a conniption for nuthin'.

When I open one of the Hawaiian bird's cage, I pour all of the strong pink sexual stimulant onto the bird's snacks for four o' clock, even though one drop is all it takes. SpongeBob should be doing the same to the other bird, but he seems to be havin' trouble. I should have expected it but I unfortunately I didn't.

Aw, nuts!

Hina, the female Hawaiian bird is for sure the trouble maker. I don't know how's she managed to fool SpongeBob, but all I know is that she's flyin' away with last pink substance in the air of the lab, in her claws. She has a habit of droppin' things high in the air for fun. Even though the male bird Kalani has had some of the liquid dropped in his food, it won't be fool-proof 'cause he'll be the one attracted to her and she won't respond 'cause she's stubborn. If she drops that, there's no way I'll be able to make another one 'cause one of the enzymes I used were extremely expensive and only bought in the city near the Atlantic Ocean. My science fund is very low this month, I can't afford it!

My lasso ain't with me so I run. I run as fast as I can on mah legs to catch that pink liquid 'cause it'll fall soon knowin' Hina, the bird belonging to Hades. I see an opening, I'm about to jump on one of the tables to the air to grab that pink liquid I need so much.

Today is not mah day.

Before I can't even jump, I trip. To the ground. Badly so, over a purple ball slobbered in saliva.

I sit up as quick as I can, about to look up to the ceiling for Hina, but because today is not mah day. I feel the crack of glass breakin'. I feel the sensation of glass breaking on the top of mah head.

As I said before, Hina has a habit of dropping things high in the air for fun.

Glass cuts. Glass hurts. I know blood is tricking down mah forehead is an unattractive manner. I don't need to feel it or see it because I can taste it. When the glass test tube fell on mah head, I did open mah mouth in a strangled cry.

The coppery taste is in mah tongue but a second later I feel another one. This taste causes me to spit continuously. It's horrible in taste, putrid even. I'd rather eat cousin Tina's out of date home-made onion soup than have this vile taste on mah tongue.

This new taste is surely not the copperiness of blood, but what was in the test tube. The pink substance...The love potion. Uh oh...

.

.

"Sandy? Sandy! Sandy!?" I think someone's callin' mah name. "Are you alright? Okay, that's a stupid question." I giggle at the person's statement. "Are you breathing? I'll get the first aid kit. Please don't die, you can't die right now, I won't let you."

I look up and see a bright yellow sponge I know. SpongeBob? His eyes are blue, a worried sapphire blue. Yup. It's him. SpongeBob SquarePants, more like SpongeBob Dramatic Pants.

"SquarePants. Stop yer yappin'. I'm still breathin' and I'mma...I'mma get that pink barnacle head an..." I stop mah rant. I hold a hand to mah forehead 'cause it's throbbin' so much. I keep getting painful yet colourful visions of blue, blue, blue.

"Why don't you stay sittin' down, and I fix things." he says in such a sweet, silky, soothin' voice. It's like a lullaby. He's luring me in. The lullaby ends when his hands are on mah shoulders. The contact sends a chill throughout mah body, the headaches are ten times more painful.

I push him away and stand up.

I snap at him. "I'm fine! I'm fine!" I wave him off. He looks so confused. I'm confused on why he's confused. "I am...absolu-" I hold a hand over mah heart. Mah fast beatin' heart. Mah fast beatin' heart that's beatin' over it's natural speed. Am I dying? Am I in love? Am I heart broken or do I have to save Bikini Bottom again?

I can't pronounce his name fully. "Bob," I utter in a weak voice.

"Yes, Sandy." he replies with such urgency. The poor lil' yellow dude on the verge of a heart attack. Well, he's not the only one. I hope Patrick calls the ambulance for both of us.

All my senses of touch, sight, taste and sound are out of this world. I see hearts everywhere, I'm tastin' chocolate covered strawberries, I'm hearin' amorous playings of a violin and I think I'm touchin' a velvet box. Ain't I supposed to be in a white lab? SpongeBob's eyes are still big and blue. Worried blue. Luckily somethin' is still the same. I hope his ears are workin' 'cause two words leave mah mouth, before everythin' turns really dark.

"Catch me."

* * *

A/N: What is going on? I don't even know...Okay, obviously I do. What did you think of this chapter? Constructed criticism and advice is very much welcomed.


	2. A Variant Valentine's

Disclaimer: I can hope, wish and dream that I own SpongeBob, but it's just wishful thinking. Stephen Hilenburg is the owner.

**Title:** A Variant Valentine's

* * *

Each year, on this specific day of the month, it had become growing ritual for the two to celebrate Valentine's day together (as friends!) and plan a little something special for their pink-skinned starfish friend later during the day. For Patrick, they settled with simple gifts, such as offering him boxes of chocolate assortments or leaving heart-shaped krabby patties in front of his home, since the Valentine's day carnival incident from three years ago, hadn't faded out of theirs and the Bikini Bottomites mind. Patrick could transform into quite the tyrant.

In her home, when exchanging gifts, she read her romantic greeting card. Crackling in laughter with this year's knock-knock joke's punch line; 'olive you', meanwhile SpongeBob simply smiled alongside her, not laughing which was not normal for him, bizarre even. The squirrel noted this.

"Okay, okay," said Sandy, her laughter quieting down. "Somethin' ain't right with you," she remarked, adding more words to that statement after. "I mean, more than usual of course."

He replied all too quickly. "I feel fine! Happy, excited even, er, I'm really content today Sandy." He looked up at her and stretched his smile as wide as he could, but once meeting her ya-ain't-foolin'-me stare, he knew she knew. "Aw, you caught me. I'm not as happy as I should be." he admitted.

"Obviously," she remarked. "This lil' holiday is the day of love and romance, yet yer facial expression is celebratin' the day of despair and doom."

He bowed his head in shame, eyeing the floor of Sandy's living room in shame. The sponge thought he had been ruining the day for him and Sandy, with her picking up on his negative attiduede today on such a positive themed one today.

He turned to her on her sofa. "I'm sorry for being selfish Sandy. I never meant for my attitude to spoil our day today, I-"

"Woah, hold yer horses there SquarePants. You ain't spoilin' anything. You're just really upset about somethin', that ain't yer fault." Her voice took on an comforting tone. "Just tell me what's wrong, an I'll try n' help."

Before he caved in and broke like a weakened dam, he first gazed admiringly at her on how his friend; the squirrel, knew what to say, how to say it and what to do in all his dilemmas.

.

.

As with all his 'troubling' dilemmas, they never tipped over to the level five scale of extreme seriousness, but simply a mild level three and this particularly one, featuring the Krusty Krab was a 3.5 in her view. From what the sponge said: the future of the Krusty Krab was facing permanent closure, all because a health inspector that had been buried by Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob, seeked revenge to close down the establishment, and was close to succeeding due to evidence of Mr. Krabs breaking thirty-two health and safety regulations and avoiding debt somehow.

The Texan squirrel rubbed her forehead in thought of a solution, plan of action or advice.

"Gosh, that old man has squatted on his spurs big time." she commented. "There's still a solution, so down look to down in the dumps. Since the Krusty Krab has been one on the longest standing fast food restaurant in this city, it's most likely that the Bikini Bottom health department would bend down to this 'inspectors' claims so easily," she assured. "It would help to fix the so-called regulations that are or not 'broken', that'd help."

The sponge with his head once cast down looked up to stare at his friend in emotions of pride, gratefulness, happiness and relief.

"You, are...AMAZING Ms. Cheeks!" he loudly exclaimed, in praise at her. Standing up from the sofa, jumping up and down in pure happiness.

Abashed, she closed her eyes and shook her head at him. She didn't understand the amount of joy he had, she was his friend, she thought so of course she'd help him with his problems.

Her thoughts and actions froze for the next four, mind-numbing seconds. She heard a helmet fall to the ground and felt lips pressed firmly on hers. Short the contact lasted, very short, meaning his intentions for his lips on hers were not for what many would think at first.

"Thanks, Sandy." he said, when breaking apart from her. "What would I do without ya?" he questioned good-naturedly. Fearing that he had inhaled too much of dangerous 'air', the sponged quickly placed his bubble helmet on his head full of water, not even beginning to realise the vermilion coloured state his actions had left his female friend in.

Whilst running out of Sandy's living room, the sponge abruptly stopped in his steps. Apologetically it seemed, he looked back at the squirrel, turning his whole spongy form around. What Sandy thought would be a stream of over-flowing apologizes or poetry of forgiveness turned out to be a loud greeting.

"Before I forget," he stated. "Happy Valentine's Day Sandy!" he shouted, proceeding to run out of her tree-home and tree-dome, off to the Krusty Krab to save the establishment once again.

She snapped out of her daze when she heard the door close. She'd known that sponge for three years now, and she didn't exactly become his friend due to his intelligence levels, but couldn't the naïve yellow sponge realise that two individual lips meeting one another was universally acknowledged as a kiss? A kiss that was something intimate! Then again, it was SpongeBob after all, and the day of love.

.

.

Absent-mindedly, the squirrel's finger touched her lips, reminiscing what had happened, and how exactly it happened. SpongeBob had caught her off guard. There was no time in the seconds for her to pucker up or even the return the kiss if that was what she wanted to do. In a state of shock, she just received the action, alongside the sensations of it. His lips being; cool, moist and something else she couldn't describe.

_'What am I doing?' _she berated mentally to herself. _'I should be huntin' down that sorry good for nuthin' punk, not...not day dreamin' on how his lips felt!'_

It was easier said then done. Sandy's mind couldn't help but wonder around different areas and circumstances.

_'It was a thank you kiss, I'm sure of it, I think...it was short, really short, not that I'm complainin' or am I? No! I ain't complain', I can't be complainin'.' she nodded her head at that. 'First of all, he came outta the blue and planted on me, with his lips that happened to be very steady, cool and moist with that salty flavour and...' _With a thought that would further describe things, she reprimanded her thoughts stricter.

_'I'm going too far now. He'd never, I mean never ever kiss me like that. SpongeBob was just happy that I found a solution to his dilemma and being over-excited he kissed me'_ Sandy grinned at her explanation. _'I need to stop actin' jumpier than a june big. It was just a kiss. A four second kiss! It ain't like we made out, or that he kissed me deeper, or that pulled me closer or even just a lil' on teasin' tug on mah lips or...No, no, no!' _

The squirrel tried a physical approach, meaning that she banged her head on fist, hoping to eliminate any seemingly salacious visions of SpongeBob doing something highly sensually pleasing to her mouth that would've changed the entire situation. With such thoughts in her head, especially on a day of love, they had no problem gravitating to forbidden imaginative ideas. It had been a long since she was on land with a guy.

Sandy stood up, leaving her living room to walk to the bathroom. "I'mma take a shower, preferably cold," she was reminded of his lips. "Scratch that, I'll take a hot one and sleep this off with pleasant dreams." her footstep halted. "...not like that. Not dreams where he'd or I'd, nuh uh. This is the last time I offer mah help."

Akin to nearly all the trouble SpongeBob caused daily in her life, Sandy would manage to erase this some how. The squirrel jokes, ripped pants and land animal insults; all was just a period of time. Yet, each had their unforgettable once since it occurred on a variant valentine's from the rest.

* * *

A/N: Variant means different. SpongeBob is famously for being himself because of the way he acts. **Clueless**, funny,** innocent **and kind-hearted, so there is a certain possibility of his limited knowledge of kisses. Constructed criticism and advice is very much welcomed.


	3. Love Potion 2

Disclaimer: I can hope, wish and dream that I own SpongeBob, but it's just wishful thinking. Stephen Hilenburg is the owner.

**Title:** Love Potion 2

* * *

Finally, after what seemed like a hundred years of beauty sleep, which was what the sponge had thought, her eyes flickered open. His hand had been itching desperately to dial the hospital earlier, so witnessing her recovery spread a surge of relief throughout his body. Tightly clamping his mouth shut, SpongeBob refrained himself from shouting in joy, in fear that it might startle her.

"Welcome back, Sandy." he whispered as cheerfully as he could. "You're finally awake."

"I am?" she spoke questioningly slow, not believing that it was true.

He nod his head assuringly. "You sure are," he replied. "Y'know, you really had me worried there Sandy. I thought that you were, it just seemed so..." he paused, shaking his head and getting a hold of his emotions. "All I know was that when you passed out in the lab, even I nearly passed out myself." He grinned. "Thank Neptune I didn't, cause I managed to catch you before you fell."

Her eyes look up at him in gratitude. When attempting to voice out her gratefulness, she became breathless seconds later.

"Like I said, no big deal. I'm just glad you're okay." To prove his point, he stretched his arms, holding Sandy's hands in his.

Her breath hitched.

Her heart for a millisecond stopped.

Such an action radiates a burning warmth through her body that won't be put out easily, unless there's an antidote. Unintentionally, the sponge is the one to blame for this. SpongeBob's brow's furrow in concern at her, when the squirrel's body jolts upright in a freaky unusual manner. The sight of her dark brown eyes dilated doesn't ease his concerns either. Before he can voice out his concerns, she speaks.

"I should reward you, no. I will reward you." she states, arcing her head at him.

The robotic manner in how she does what she does unsettles the sponge slightly. "Er, that's not necessary. You don't need to go that far, Sandy."

Her hands grasps his; desperately and pleadingly.

"Please," she begs. "I'd be the biggest low-life in the state of Texas if I couldn't thank my saviour in the best way possible."

The sponge failed to form out words, probably due to being abashed by her praise. The Texan has never complimented him to such extents as to now.

"S-Sandy, I'm not that great, you-"

"I think you are." is her counter response to his. Blunt and brief. "I also think that you're so much more than great."

"Really? Ya think so?"

Wearing a smile, the squirrel nods her head and stretches a hand to hold his.

"I'm taken back that y'all don't know _charmin'_ qualities 'bout yourself." she replies in false disbelief. "Don't ya know that you're without a doubt, the sweetest thing under the sea?" she questions, looking up expectantly at him.

SpongeBob shakes his head modestly, signifying no.

"My, oh my, say it isn't so. Why, you're sweeter than melted honey!" she exclaims, tapping his bubble helmet affectionately. "Please me, by tellin' me that ya know at least that you're the funniest guy I've ever had to pleasure to meet."

His brows raise up. "The funniest?" he questions warily, inwardly wishing Sandy really thinks that of him.

His doubtfulness causes her to chuckle softly.

"Definitely." is Sandy's firm reply. When her eyes meet his, his blue Cerulean ones-the inferno still occurring in the squirrel's body makes itself present. With the tints of red on her cheeks, the Texan female bites her lips and shys away from his eyes to settle her sight on their hands linked. Slowly and gently, she soothingly begins to trace the sponge's knuckles with her thumb as if she was handling precious and forbidden treasure. The yellow male has no clue at how her heart is soaring at the moment. He sees no issues with her overly-friendly(ish) affectionate acts.

.

.

"SpongeBob?"

"Yeah?"

Sandy pauses, eyes focusing on her two brown-furred fingers, toying and carefully caressing the fry cook's well-liked and well-kept red tie. One should note the amount times the squirrel has been touching the sponge. Somehow, the yellow male innocently sees no issues with her overly-friendly(ish) affectionate acts.

The Texan casts her eyes down to her bed spread. "Would you hold it against me, if I told ya..." she trails off. SpongeBob picks up on this.

"Told me?" he asks, truly curious to know.

"Told you," the squirrel states slowly on purpose, once seeing the sponge's curiosity. "that I find you quite fetchin'."

The mini-sized SpongeBob's in SpongeBob's mind, frantically go through every grey cabinet of SpongeBob's precious memories to scavenge for the word 'fetching'. One mini-sized SpongeBob with the 'three kids' found the word and it's meaning.

_'Attractive!?'_

The blush surrounding his face set her off. She felt such a delight within her that her words had affected him in such a way. Her once soft chuckles, turned into loud laughter which SpongeBob couldn't help but join embarrassingly alongside side her.

Tapping his bubble helmet with fondness once more, she spoke.

"Wanna stop by my place tomorrow for some tea and cookies?" she asked, as her fingers previously caressing the well-liked and well-kept red tie shifted to circling a widely known ideogram on his chest. Abruptly; she stopped when her body temperature rose high. "I'd love for us to spend _'quality'_ time with one another." she murmured.

SpongeBob as naïve as he was, did feel a disturbance in the air when Sandy stopped circling his chest. It could be considered weird that he didn't have a problem before when she was doing so, arguably flirtatiously. Still, at her response of spending time with him, the fry cook felt the same sentiments and agreed with a grin. Unknown to the lil' spongy man, there was a gleam in her brown eyes at his reply. Also unknown to the spongy man, the mischievous gleam in her brown eyes determined the 'quality time' he'd be in for tomorrow and the following days after.

* * *

A/N: So...what kind of 'shape' was Sandy circling on SpongeBob's chest, and what kind of 'excitement' will he be in tomorrow? Constructed criticism and advice is very much welcomed.


	4. Formfitting

Disclaimer: I can hope, wish and dream that I own SpongeBob, but it's just wishful thinking. Stephen Hilenburg is the owner.

**Title:** Formfitting

_'There ain't no need to get all worked up over nuthin'. It's not like I'll capture any attention._' she reasoned. Slightly reassured more, Sandy glanced at it again, and then whitened. "How could I lose that bet," she muttered in distaste. "Belinda must've been cheatin'."

.

.

As her Ma would say, Sandy felt as nervous as a thief in court. Unintentionally as well as involuntarily, her entrance was quite noticeable. Once the Texan squirrel entered the most well-liked fast food restaurant in the city, it was as if she became the next most well-liked 'thing' in the city. She rather preferred the not-too-quiet whispers and glares from the female customers instead the penetrating stares and ogling eyes of the males.

Anyway, lifting her head up high the female scientist continued her stride to the cash register. Sandy wasn't an attention grabber. She wasn't the type of girl to get such a reaction from people, so why act like it affected her? Though, why act like it didn't when it surely did?

"Good afternoon Sandy!", "Hello, Ms. Cheeks.", "H-Hiya.", "How are you this _fine_ day?" many greeted her in one way or another. Not use to such attention, the squirrel simply smiled at some and made her way down to the cashier.

Squidward; a cashier (as stated on his name-tag), unwillingly took his eyes away from his 'Musical Moment's' magazine and looked at the elderly woman before him. He frowned. _'Even the elderly eat at this dump. Tragic how society has fallen.'_

"For that to be possible, Ma'am." he said slowly. "I'd have to go in kitchen, into the cupboard, retrieve it, listen to nonsense babbling from a fry-cook, come back out here and re-fill the ketchup. Unnecessary, wouldn't you agree?"

The woman's brow furrowed in confusion. "B-But, you're the employee. Isn't it your job to do so?" Squidward shrugged his shoulder at her question. He began reading where he left off. "In my days, when we got a job, we did all that it required."

The turquoise coloured octopus, flipped to the next page and replied. "Thank Neptune you're times have passed." Hearing his nasal laugh, she gave up against lazy cashier.

.

.

"Hiya, Squidward. Can ya tell SpongeBob that I've arrived."

"_Sure_ Sally, I'll get _right_ on it." he responded, cheerfully? Sandy being no fool, easily detected the sarcasm that was heavily coated.

_'No point losin' yer cool 'ere. It is Squidward after all. The infamous cashier that's ruder than country club pampered women.' _Refraining from causing some damage with her fists, it still irked her that he purposely or most likely uncaringly couldn't get her name right. They knew each other for more than seven years! True that they weren't exactly best friends, but she also saved his live (alongside the other crazy bunch) countless times-it couldn't hurt a soul to correctly address their saviour.

"Look, I know we ain't exactly tight an all, but would it kill you to get my name right?"

Before retorting back, the octopus unwillingly took his eyes away from his 'Musical Moment's' magazine, aiming to make eye contact with the squirrel so she'd get the message loud and clear. Once looking, he couldn't stop-not that he wanted to. One look was all it took for his personality to take a one-eighty turn.

"Forgive me Sandra," he apologised, purposely rolling the 'r' in her name. "Let me make it up to you, any plans this Saturday night?" Sandy leaned back at his verbal advances. She found his purring very out of the blue, but when viewing the lewd twirls of his brows-she looked at herself and quickly discovered his 'friendly' interest in her.

After declining three _private_ clarinet lesson with Squidward which wasn't all that hard to do (considering how he played), SpongeBob came into the scene.

"Squidward! What's keeping your attention?" cried out the sponge. "It's been precisely five minutes and thirty seconds since you haven't ordered any..." The tray in his hand dropped. Normally, he'd be weeping at the waste of two perfect patties or begging for forgiveness from the customers. For now; he didn't care. He didn't even worry about the threatening call of the wasted food coming out of his pay check.

In similar manner to the male customers, and just like Squidward. Once he looked, he couldn't stop. Not that he really wanted to. Especially now that recently, SpongeBob no longer considered Sandy cute any more, but pretty; very pretty. That word would probably be upgraded soon. Worries entered his_ mind. 'This squirrel's trying to kill me. That suit is too, t-too...Why is it so...tight? Why does she have that kind of fig_ure? Why is she wearing it?' he thought, as he couldn't help but notice._ 'Fish paste! Just when when I was getting used to her in her bikini, now this. Calm down SquarePants. You gotta stay in control. Sandy's your friend, you can't afford to think about her like _this!'

In his mind, the word 'pretty' was upgraded to a three-lettered word beginning with a 'h' and ending in a 't'. Her big, white space space suit which 'did no wonders for her' as Pearl would proclaim was not present. As a substitute was a formfitting suit (that was definitely 'formfitting') which was guilty in creating too many wonders in one day. Whilst still retaining her pink flower, a difference to be noted was the her boots, slightly wedged-creating a mature. Her new suit was still primarily white; yet it was accompanied with thick pink lines traveling from her arms, waist and legs. It proudly pronounced some curves she secretly possessed by how it molded on her body. Nicely shaped she was, which was not what a lot of female sea creatures were. Only mermaids, arguably the most beautiful creatures in the ocean held such reputations.

If Sandy was affected by the naïve fry cook checking her out, she didn't show it.

"SpongeBob?"

Hearing her pronounce half of his name, he hesitantly replied."Y-yeah?" He settled to staring at her face because it made him able to pronounce his words without stuttering.

"Aren't ya gonna show your 'special friend' the best table in the house?" she said with a smile in her eyes.

The sponge formed an 'oh' in understanding when realising that today was the day they'd go to the museum and beach, since the Krusty Krab suspiciously finished earlier than normal. "Of course I will, let me show y-you to your special table." Before he could extend his arm for Sandy to hold, he halted in his movements when Squidward stepped in front.

"Why don't you go check on the burning patties and I'll," he says, extending his own long arms chummily around Sandy's shoulders (much to her disapproval). "show her to her seat."

The fry cook rushes without a moment's notice once hearing the words 'patty' and 'burning' in the same sentence. In spite of that, he steals a glance behind him to view Squidward's arms on Sandy. Faintly he frowns. The sight isn't enjoyable. It unsettles him.

With more force than necessary-the spatula flattened the patty on the grill. "Squidward was being a worry wort for nothing. Theses patties aren't burnt, they're still cooking to perfection. Grilled at best, Sandy'll like 'em."

SpongeBob left his station with the squirrel's meal. When arriving at her table, it was overcrowded with four men and Squidward (who really should be at the cashier counter), hovering over Sandy as if she was breath-taking treasure.

_'Something's up. Sandy does know a lot of people in Bikini Bottom, but not like this,' _he noted in his mind. _'Even Squidward is gazing really hard at her, just like the time the customers all thought Patrick was a girl, just because they thought he was really...' _The spongy male didn't finish his thoughts, because he figured out what was going on. The customers becoming friendly with Sandy just because she was wearing something a little too friendly with her skin. Gazing and ogling at her like she was a smokin' boat mobile. This unsettled the sponge even more than Squidward's arm on her.

As tolerable the attention was, it stopped being tolerable when one fish got too brave and placed a fin on her thigh. She forgot the first offense and punished him with a hard stomp on his foot, but the second, third and now fourth advances made Sandy grit her teeth. _'How in tarnation am I supposed to beat that these sorry good-for-nuthin' punks to pulps and not get arrested for assault?' _she wonders.

A smile as fake as a tan stretched on her face. "I'mma head out now, I've got an appointment with-"

"-Me! We're leaving now, right Sandy?" supplied SpongeBob, coming at the right time.

"Right!" she happily replied. The joy was obvious on her face-she couldn't be more relieved.

_._

_._

Each longing gaze directed at her made him unsettled. Each wolf whistle directed at her made him twitch his left eye. Each wink directed at her made him seethe in anger. Each flirtatious greeting directed at her made him grit his teeth. The sponge didn't like (at all) the response to Sandy. So what if her suit was formfitting, pleasing to the eye? Couldn't they just look at her like they normally did? Well, fact was SpongeBob in the beginning couldn't, and neither could a certain red lobster.

"Helloo, Sandy!" a muscular man greeted.

_'No, not Larry!' _the sponge panicked.

"Hiya, Larry!" she responded. As usual (unintentionally) Larry did not recognise SpongeBob's presence.

"Might I say on this lovely day, you look so much _lovelier_." he stated, with his voice deepening. It was all SpongeBob could take. He himself acknowledge that Sandy was incredibly hot today, but he wasn't making any passes like at her compared to other guys. Still, he did occasionally stare which wasn't much damage but still some.

He coughed. "Well would you guys look at the time," said the sponge, displaying a fake drawn watch on his right arm. "We're late Sandy, we'd better head on off."

"Huh? Won't the museum have a long-" the sentence wasn't finished. With strength that Sandy would question later, the sponge ushered her along to their next destination.

.

.

The sponge and squirrel had planned to visit the Bikini Bottom Oriental Museum days ago, in hopes of learning the history of Karate and viewing ninja artefacts from the 15th century. A number of people in the queue held no problems in letting Sandy jump the line-it took little persuasion from her to allow her spongy friend to accompany her also. The squirrel took in detail in how SpongeBob grudgingly tailed after her. _'Could he be...Nah, he wouldn't be, it's not in his nature to be however..'_

.

.

Seeing him deflate unhappily so on the grass of Jellyfish fields, makes her decide there and then that she'd ask questions that would lead him to unintentionally reveal a few things.

"It's been a pretty interestin' day today, don't ya think?" she commented offhandedly.

"I guess you could say that." he mumbled.

"Oh, I guess I could seein' as I was the center of attention today." taking a look at him, she didn't miss how his shoulders tensed at her words. "I'm still wonderin' why?"

Astonished by the squirrel's response, he spoke. "Sandy, are ya sure you don't know why, why _everyone_ was staring at _you_?"

She shrugs her shoulders, inwardly intrigued by his reaction. Deciding to act oblivious becomes a tactic to retrieve information from him. "Nope. I'm about as clueless as a wild headless chicken. Why, do y'all know the reason?"

Nodding his head, SpongeBob firmly grips the grass underneath him in irritation at the true 'reason'. "Sandy, you do know that what your wearing is completely different from what you normally wear, right?"

"Okay, so what?"

"Well that's what," he says, shyly gesturing to her suit. "you may have not noticed, but your new suit's gaining a lot of attention in town today." _'Wrong attention.'_ he grumbles in his mind.

On the face of it, realisation dawns on her. The squirrel pulls the supple material on her thighs. "You mean to tell me that this lil' suit is to blame for the friendly interest in me today?"

The way SpongeBob drones (seemingly irritated) that she's on the right track does not go unnoticed by her-so she pushes her false lack of knowledge further.

"Hmm, if this be true," she drawls out. "then what makes this suit of mine so attention grabbing." She examines the suit on herself-the same suit she despised wearing earlier today. "Ain't no one in this city dumber than rocks to not recognise the difference, but it's only the shoes that are different and the pink li-"

"No," he states, ending her words. "That's not it." The grass beside him once connected to the soil are ripped; clutched in his tense hands instead. His eyes turn to hers. "Sandy, you had the whole town's eyes on you-everyone was looking, no eye balling at that, t-that formfitting suit!" Frustration is next to leak on his voice. "It happened with Patricia and it happened too you to. At the Krusty Krab, you were the smokin' boat mobile of the century! You saw how all those distracted guys ogled and gazed and, and just couldn't leave you alone."

The grass clutched in his hands are released.

Bitterness is the third tone glued on SpongeBob's voice. "Larry and Squidward were distracted by that suit and even I-" he cuts himself off, and turns away from her-switching the topic to the underwater sun about to set soon. The Texan squirrel finds it a struggle to hold herself back from an all-knowing grin from the information she's retrieved from him.

Her tone is exceedingly innocent when she says. "Were ya distracted by my formfitting suit today, SpongeBob?"

He feels his mouth go dry, he can't seem to articulate his words properly. "No, I mean yes, no, yes, wait a minute!" he splutters. "It's not like I wanted to be distracted, but that doesn't mean I didn't like being distracted, but um...You're my friend, best-friend and y'know, that suit is formfitting, so your legs were really, forget I said that. I wasn't ogling, I was staring and well-"

He stops his incoherent explanation. Forgetting and unable to restrain herself, she chuckles. Verbally and loudly.

"You're really lettin' your cows runn'n today, SpongeBob." she stated, eradicating her chuckles. "Calm down, I'm just playin' the tease is all."

Holding a hand on his chest, the yellow sponge sighs in relief at that. He allows a tiny, tiny, microscopic smile of sheepishness of his face. "I think you're really good at acting the tease instead playing, Sandy."

She notes his words in delight and contemplates to herself that some more fun at his expense ain't so evil or illegal for that matter. Her tone in voice lowers lecherously. "Apart from mah legs SpongeBob what else is more noticeable?" she questions. He gulps. The poor sponge is speechless again, his reddened face is enough to start her off.

Her incessant chuckles cause him to whine out at her in mortification. It ceases her for the time being.

"Well, hally-lallily ding dang do! Never," she attempts to stifle her laughter. "Never did I thought that you'd have." Her attempts fail. After a minute of glee, she finds it in herself to settle down. "I'm sorry partner, it's just that I ain't ever seen this side of you before." _'Who would have ever thought?'_ she thinks.

The sponge tilts his head in confusion.

"C'mon, don't make me proclaim it out loud." she bits her lip so laughter won't escape. "I surely ain't the only one who'd be surprised, but never did I think that SpongeBob Naïve Pants would one day be SpongeBob Mature Pants." she sighs when not viewing the understanding on his face. "Three years ago, you would have never reacted in such a way as today even if I wore a formfitting suit like this," mentally, the sponge disagrees. "I see you shakin' yer head, letme tell ya that three years ago, I did in fact ask ya how appealin' I was."

"What'd I say?"

Sandy looks down at her knees before replying. "You called me cute." her voice is timid. Not as confident or flirtatious as before. "Now, if was to ask ya whether I was pretty or attractive, you'd say-"

"Both." he states audibly. The squirrel is thankful that he's staring far into space other than her face, cause it's heating up rapidly at his words.

"Y-you see? There's a difference now, whether it's because of someone you're crushin' on or you've finally gotten the talk or sumthin' like that, your maturity has finally awoken." she refrains from sighing.

"What I mean to say is that your dormant hormones are now awake." she winks at him. This causes the blushes on his cheeks are not to fade away as quickly as before.

One more person other than Gary and his Dad that knowing about his attraction to the opposite sex doesn't go with him well. At least Sandy sees no awkwardness but amusement in his attraction to her, yet the the yellow sponge thinks that maybe the latter would be better.

.

.

"Y'all should know that I'm in this suit against mah free will. Somehow I lost a bet against a colleague of mine from New Kelp City." she frowns. "'Cause I lost, I had to wear this suit for a day as Belinda knew tight-fitting clothes weren't mah thing in public. I also get the feelin' she knew I'd get unwanted attention."

"So all along, you did know about the stares on you from everyone?"

"Duh, course I did. Squidward actually got my name right, Larry didn't treat me like one of the guys and you, Mr. SquarePants," she says, with a smug look on her face. "got your hormones workin'."

The sponge blocks his ears shut in preparation to the next thing his supposedly best-friend; Sandy, will say next. SpongeBob's not sure if there's another level higher than extreme-extreme-embarrassment.

"It's a good thing that there workin', though I'd like to experiment and see what would cause 'em to briefly malfunction or overload." her words cause curiosity within him (only one hand was covering one ear). "Could be 'cause I manage to wear sumthin' tighter, less? Or," she drawls. At her drawl, the sponge looks at her and panics. The (good-natured?) feral grin on her face stirs his instincts to; flee and escape from her right now. At this instant-forgetting whether she is a friend or not. "nothing at all." she purrs.

For a moment, he prides in himself that no visual imagery comes into mind-though that's not considering the dreams he'll have tonight. Her words cause his face to become the personification of humiliation yet again.

"T-that's not funny Sandy." he reprimands in a mumble. She doubles over. His mumble is out of earshot by the sound of her ear-splitting, knee-buckling laughter filling his atmosphere.

* * *

A/N: What d'ya think of this chapter? Were characters: IC, OOC, IC and OOC at times? Constructed criticism and advice is needed please.


	5. Love Potion 3

Disclaimer: I can hope, wish and dream that I own SpongeBob, but it's just wishful thinking. Stephen Hilenburg is the owner.

**Title:** Love Potion 3

I'm pacing around my living room, gushing out all the confusing complications I encountered with Sandy this week to my wise, wise pink friend.

"She's been acting so weird Patrick, really weird. It's so unlike herself. I mean, a girl and guy who are just friends can touch each other, right?" I ask without looking at him. I realise I've stopped pacing.

"Yeah, yeah it's true." my pink friend mumbles (a little woozily?). I'm slightly more reassured by his words. I continue my strides in the living room.

"Yeah, you're right. Friends can touch each other, but not how...not how." I pause, thinking about Sandy actions. This leads me to halt, and stop pacing again. Not only did she touch me unexpectedly than normal, but the things she said and they way she said it was so unlike her. She's never done that to anyone else I know, so why me? I do remember that her actions towards me weren't friendly, but they weren't unfriendly either. I'm still confused.

"Oh, help me out here Pat. I'm puzzled and I ain't got as much knowledge as you do on life and-" I stop my sentence when I'm sure I hear Patrick murmuring an order of 'Gooberry Sunrises' (a yummy ice cream special). Why is he ordering a sundae? Curious, I look at him sat on the armchair comfortably with a drool dribbling down his chin. I groan in disbelief. He's snoring! So he's just been sleep talking... this whole _entire_ time.

Snapping my fingers in front of his face is hopeless. I shake his arm gently to wake him up. "Pat, Pat, hey buddy wake up. Patrick," talking quietly isn't working. "Patrick!" I shout.

I find it a little funny at how his eyes widen really, really big when finally waking up. "Huh, where's my sundae, where am I?" He blinks so many times I'm blinded by it. "Hey, this isn't the Goofy Goober's Party Boat." he declares.

"No, it isn't Patrick. You're at my house."

He scratches the drool on his chin. "Oh, must've been a dream or something. What am I doing in your house...I get it. Are we having a slumber party?"

I shake my head at that.

"Nope." I answer (but it does sounds like a good idea to. I'm sure Squidward would love to join us). "You were listening, well, I thought you _were _listening to my dilemma about Sandy."

"Sandy? Oh, Sandy. Go ahead, lay it on me."

I close my eyes and try not to sigh exasperatingly like I want to. I'll explain the 'Sandy' problem to Patrick. Again.

.

.

Too much talking:

To begin with, on the day she was recovering from passing out in her lab-she offered for me to stop by her place for tea and cookies the next day. Since I'm fond of it and her, I agreed. There was nothing wrong with that. Nothing at all. I love spending quality time with my best friends in the whole wide world!

At first, everything was as normal as usual: she opened her door, we greeted each other, wait a minute. Before we greeted, she ran up and hugged me tightly (I guess that was different), I didn't mind the hug-I enjoyed it and embraced her back. So after the hug, we greeted and traded jokes around, though I do remember that when I told Sandy a funny one; when she doubled over; as soon as I touched her hand to lift her up to her feet; her body kind of jolted in this robot kind of way. Naturally, I was worried, but when I asked her if she was okay, she gave me that huge grin which meant everything was fine. Because she was fine, I was fine so there was no problem...yet. It started when we we're sitting down on her bench. She was drinking her mint flavoured tea by glass while I drank mine by the tea bag floating in my bubble helmet.

"SpongeBob?" she had asked.

"Yes, Sandy." I had replied.

Her question was slightly odd. "D-do you like me?"

"Of course I do."

This did happen a few days ago, but I think her cheeks were a little red at my response. If that did happen then I think I was wondering why at that time.

"Do ya like me for what's on the inside, or outside?"

"Both. I like the inside of you and the outside of you, Sandy. A lot." was the reply I remember saying.

"Oh, if that be true then why do ya like the outside, SpongeBob?"

"Um, well it's probably 'cause you're a squirrel and because you're a girl." I had said. "I've never had a land animal as my friend before so I'm really glad I met you, and you're a girl. I don't have many friends who are girls."

"Interestin'. So you acknowledge that I'm a girl."

"I sure do! You are a girl, Sandy."

Sandy's eyes seemed glued on her tea when she twirled the spoon in it. With her head slightly bent down, I couldn't see face fully, so I had no clue if she was smiling or frowning.

"What body features of mine tell you that I'm a girl?" she had asked.

I might've hesitated when speaking. "You have those,...I know your a girl because..." explaining seemed to be hard.

Even with my bubble helmet, I was sweating a bit. For some reason, it was just difficult for me to explain why Sandy looked like girl. She just did, she really just did. Hearing her chuckling at me put the odd question down, but I still felt as if I hadn't answered her properly, or maybe I didn't answer in a certain way she wanted me to answer.

"No need to throw a conniption over that lil' question now, SpongeBob." she had stopped chuckling. "Though perhaps mah questions weren't too clear. Okay then, truth be told I've been feeling a little, well just a tad self-conscious about myself lately, and I need some objective opinions."

I nodded my head in understanding. Patrick had done the same thing to me when he didn't believe himself to be a starfish. "I get it Sandy, you can interrogate me all you want." I replied. To prove my sincerity, I placed my hands over hers on the table. Maybe she didn't like the temperature of my hands because she immediately snatched hers out of mine. When I looked at her (seriously concerned), that redness on her cheeks returned. Was she embarrassed? Before I could apologise ('cause I really didn't mean for my hands to be so hot) she had spoke.

"Am I cute?"

What did she mean by that? "Cute?" I had questioned.

She nodded her head. "You heard right. Cute. Am I a cute kind of girl?"

I replied without thinking about it too much. "Er, sure. I think you're pretty cute, Sandy."

She cast her head down. She didn't seem sad like I had thought because her voice was still upbeat. "So you think I'm cute. Whatta about pretty? Am I a pretty girl?" she said.

"I-I think you are." I said, stammering a little (I don't know why). "Not only that, but I think you're the prettiest girl in Bikini Bottom." I fanned my shirt a little (for some reason the temperature seemed warmer. I probably drank my tea too fast).

Her eyes stared intently at mine before she spoke. "No wonder I like, you're a natural flatterer." she praised. "I do wonder if y'all know what ya actually doin'. To judge whether am pretty or not, you're perceiving me differently."

"Is that bad thing?" I questioned, worriedly. I didn't want to judge a book by it's cover-that would be breaking the special golden rule I've kept since pre-school.

"Usually," she replied. "but in this case, I don't mind you're _blue_ eyes on _me_." When she said that, there was a kind of half-smile I've never really seen on her face before. It was friendly but a little sneaky.

Sandy said she was self-conscious, so I was helping her by telling her what I honesty thought about her appearance, but I did think then that maybe there could be a limit on the question she asked. I mean asking me if I found her, 'physically attractive'...was too much. It was such a different experience I've ever had to look at Sandy, my best friend in _that_ kind of way (doing so wasn't bad, but something inside me fought not to).

"Like what you see?" she whispered (it did sound quite mischievous). Sandy had probably noticed the gazing I did at her (maybe I was ogling by accident). I felt ashamed. Guilty.

that I had been, well I didn't know (I still don't know) what the action was exactly called when I was staring at her, but it was like...like as if I was checking her out. Like how I did at home to check whether a tomato in my fridge was eat-able or not. There was a difference though. I didn't touch, taste or smell her like I did with a tomato. That thought then and there had made me blush. Why was I thinking that? Or like that?

Beneath the table, I felt something really warm, almost like fur moving against my legs. My mind had told me then that Sandy was rubbing her legs against mine. Her action had shocked me a little, but it had shocked me out of my daze. It never occurred to me that Sandy could be...could be distracting.

"My, oh my. You ain't blushin' are you?" she asked. I avoided her eyes. She giggled (I don't think I've heard such a sound like that from her). "Am I that distractin', SpongeBob?"

I gulped. It was like she read my mind.

.

.

Too much touching:

What is more is that after the day when Sandy asked me those 'self-conscious' questions. I remember coming to her place (Patrick came too) for Karate as usual, but it apparently she had another kind of game for us to play. She had said that this game was all the rage in Texas. The game was called 'Twister'. Twister was this large plastic mat with four rows of large coloured circles of red, yellow, blue and green (I was disappointed that the colour beige wasn't there). There's this spinner that determines where the players put their hand or foot. For some reason, Sandy was really strict on Patrick not playing (he had to be the spinner guy). He didn't mind though because once Sandy explained to him (in a really low voice) that 'flexibility was required', he freaked out.

Me and Sandy played around five rounds of Twister together. I admit that it's a really fun game, but it has it's little flaws. After the first one, things got awkward. Very awkward. Sandy never told me what age Twister is for, but mind seriously doubted that it was a game for kids. I mean, there's too much touching. A lot. If it hadn't been for my bubble helmet I'm positive that with the amount of times Sandy fell on me (it's not like her to have bad balance), we would have...would've...maybe did something. Back to the awkwardness. I learnt then that Twister was a game of very, very close proximity. Me and Sandy are close an all, but we've never been that close to each other.

"Green circle!" Patrick shouted. (It sounded like he was in pain?)

I remember giggling nervously. "Heh, heh. S-sorry Sandy," I apologised. "I never meant to touch you on your, um...I was trying to touch the green circle and, well your, y-your-" I stopped speaking when she ended up giggling herself (My face was probably as red as Mr. Krabs at that moment).

"Don't worry. I forgive ya." Her smile put me at ease. "Though, can ya forgive me for this?"

Before I could've mouthed the words 'For what?' out loud, my eyes must've widened to the edge of my face when her brushed against my own 'keister' as old man Krabs would say.

There was a lot more touching that happened and sometimes I had wondered if maybe there were times where it could have been deliberate.

"Oops. Sorry, SpongeBob." she had apologised (I still think she was hiding a laugh). "My tail has a mind of it's own sometimes." My blush must've been the reddest thing in the whole wide world at that moment. Not even the ketchup or perfectly sliced tomatoes at the Krusty Krab could match the colour spreading across my face.

Things went worser when Patrick spoke.

"Guys? Watching you two touch each other sexually ain't fun no more." he had whined. (HOW could he have SAID that?) "Can I go home now?"

.

.

Too much tension:

Thirdly, I had looked forward to this day more than the others because finally we would get to spar since last time we were supposed to, we had played T-Twister instead. I couldn't wait then to show Sandy my new Karate chop move (inspired by a movie I saw last night) I had practiced on. We spar, we drink lemonade, everything had gone well so far until she had said.

Sandy was rolling her shoulders again. "Ugh, my muscle are so sore." I did tell her ten times to stretch before we spared, but Sandy didn't want to listen. She could be stubborn like that, but did she want to be sore on purpose? "Why, their stiffer than a metal board."

I bit my lip. "Anything I can do to ease the pain?" I had asked, concerned as usual.

"You good at massages?" I had nodded my head at that.

She laid on the mat placed down on her grass. Kneeling besides her, I exercised my hands and placed my palms near her shoulders to work from top to bottom. I was a gentle as a baby clam when rotating and pressing at certain points. Hearing her purr told me that I was doing something really good (Gary purrs all the time when I massage his eye stalks), but when she started to talk, the atmosphere in the room changed.

"Oh, you've done it now." She sounded hurt. I had quickly removed my hands, already worried that I may have touched a pressure point I shouldn't have. Sandy did reassure me that that was so not the case.

Problem was that she kept speaking a lot, and when I say a lot I mean a lot, a lot. I don't really know how to describe it but her voice was really, croaky? No, that's not it (she did NOT sound like Old man Jenkins). Hmm, her voice was this husky-like tone that I've never (ever) heard her say and it was so not her. When she moaned, it wasn't a Patrick moan like: 'I'm SO hungry', or a Squidward moan like 'I need a better job', or even a Ms. Puff moan like 'They don't pay me enough for this'. It was so, so...not her (but it sounded like her). I was uncomfortable, that was for sure, but when she said my name, I had stopped the actions of my hands. Barnacles. Something was definitely wrong. They way she had pronounced my name created a release of jumpy things in me that were, happy?. Why did it affect me so much? I can't explain it (I STILL can't). All I knew then was that I had to get out of there. Quickly! So the little white lie I told could've worked (if I had remembered what happened yesterday), but it hadn't.

"You're lyin'." her tone of voice brought out the guiltiness in me. "Gary went to the vet two days ago for his eyeballs. You specifically told me that since ya couldn't play Twister with me again."

I can't my head down. I feel my eyes watering. I hate it when I stretch the truth to my friends.

"I get it. You just don't like being near me." her voice is quieter. "Ya should've just told me that you didn't like mah body."

"What?" I question in shock. "I never said that! I-I don't even think that, I do like touching you."

"Then why won't ya touch my body?"

"Because, because I can't."

There was a half-like grin on her face. "They were workin' quite well a minute ago SquarePants."

"I didn't mean it like it." I had said, slightly annoyed at Sandy.

"Spit it out, SpongeBob. What goin' on?"

It was like the emotions within me had burst out (literally). "Fish paste, Sandy! I'm confused. I'm so so confused and, and it's all your fault!" I shouted, while pointing at her. I didn't check her facial expression then. "You've been making me so confused these days. One moment you're asking me if you're attractive, and then the next we're touching intimately and then after," I had mimicked her voice to for the next point (maybe I shouldn't have). "You're moaning in that mysterious voice, 'please touch harder SpongeBob'."

When I looked at her, my heart wanted to break. For a moment she looked so broken and hurt (because of me and my stupid big mouth), but then her face became unreadable (it's never been like that). I wanted to apologise to her then, but she had questioned me a question that had me stumped.

"My verdict is that you're confused because you don't know what you're feelin'." What she's saying is true. "When you touch me. Are ya happy inside because you're makin' me very happy, or is it because maybe you-yourself feel very happy inside when touchin' me?"

All I heard was my heart beating very loudly for four seconds. I couldn't match the stare she was giving me and I couldn't answer that question which I only half understood. I understood what she said (she had spoke in English), but not that meaning of what she wanted me to get. I don't think I was ready to get that meaning (or maybe I was scared to get it).

"I-I'll see you around, okay." was what I said closing her door behind me, even though I had heard her voice calling me.

As soon I step out, I am not a happy sponge. Walking my way home, I rub my head in confusion and regret. I've never been so frustrated at Sandy like this before. She's turned my head into absolute mush these few days with the things we did and said. It wasn't us, it just wasn't her. Barnacles! Was I too mean to her? Could I have said what I said better? Why didn't I answer her last question? Why couldn't I? The questions keep spinning in a circle in my head, giving me a head ache. I need some hot coco.

.

.

"I can't sleep or eat properly any more. I feel so bad for shouting at her like that." I confess. "It's just that Sandy looks like Sandy, smells like Sandy and even sounds like Sandy but deep down somewhere, I know it isn't her. I'm probably not making any sense am I?"

"Nah, I get ya SpongeBob," he answers. "but are we talking about the Sandy who has the big long nose and plays the clarinet really, really badly."

"No, the person you're thinking of is Squidward, our next-door neighbour." Bearing in mind what Patrick said about Squidward, I defend our neighbour. "Squidward doesn't play the clarinet badly Pat, he's just one of those special people in the world who transcend the traditional way of playing it." And if I'm not mistaken, I clearly remember the day (two weeks ago), when the cops came round in our neighbourhood and arrested Squidward for, as I quote: 'playing the clarinet in an unique illicit and reprehensible manner that disturbed the peace. Who knew Squidward's clarinet playing so captivating, it was criminal?

I don't think my explanation was any good, since it took fifteen minutes to enlighten Patrick on the female brown-furred squirrel from Texas who had been one of our bestest friends for a number of years now. Afterwards, I explained the problem with Sandy not being her original Sandy self.

His hands were on his chin, contemplating. "She's probably a robot." he declares.

I'm sure my eyes widen at that. "What? No! Sandy is definitely no robot, I can assure you on that Patrick." I've seen Sandy cry, laugh and love, plus she hasn't got any metal pinchers for hands, therefore she is not a robot.

"Then maybe, she likes you a lot."

"Duh, of course Sandy likes me a lot, I'm her first friend she ever made in Bikini Bottom."

"Hmm, well maybe it's her time of month!"

"Time of month?"

Patrick nods his head, gesturing for me to sit. "C'mon, y'know that womanly thing that makes 'em crazy, haven't you heard it before?" I shake my head, and he explains further. "When are you going to learn SpongeBob?" He whispers in a top-secret voice next. "I shouldn't tell you this but...it's a special set of days when girls have the right by some nature law or sumthin' to act completely different."

"Completely?"

"Yes, completely."

Vaguely, I reminded of those special days in a month when the Krusty Krab is (almost) destroyed by Mr. Krabs daughter; Pearl. Hey, this might make sense, but I also remember remembers Squidward describing Pearl's state as 'implausible PMSing (along with the other seven words you should never say).

"I get it now. It happens to Pearl and only last a few days, so does this mean Sandy acting strange will only be temporarily?"

He grunts something I can't understand, but he's also picking at the flint in his belly button (I should tell him it's unhygienic). He flicks it somewhere (yuck!).

"Yea," he says. "but isn't sandy different from Pearl?"

"What d'you mean by that?"

"Y'know, she's a not wet animal, and likes to breathe that thing we can't see."

"I'm sorry Pat, but you've lost me there."

He shrugs his shoulders. "That's okay, I've lost myself too."

For a few seconds, I stare at my intelligent friend blessed with immense knowledge. It was at times like this I thought Pat came from another entire world (I maybe exaggerating). Patrick did tend to not remember things well (even if it happened it a second). It was probably memory loss since he tends to forget: who is mother is, how Squidward looks like, the colour of his skin, or even his name. Perhaps his brain is full of some much knowledge that he can't remember everything. I guess it's true that no one is perfect.

"You were talking about how Sandy is an air-breather, remember?" I remind.

His eyes widen. "Oh yeah! Sandy is an air-breather and Pearl is a water breather like us. They're different."

"But they're both girls."

"Understand SpongeBob that the two girls are two different _kinds _of animals. Despite the fact that they're both mammals, one should observe that their ecological area they've inhabited has influenced their behaviour greatly. " (Holy shrimps! Why did Patrick get no diploma in college?) "Also, you should take into consideration at the different ecosystems the girls have been socialised in."

This is exactly why I'm proudly to be his best friend and also (secretly) jealous. As amazing and intellectual his explanation is...I only understood seven words. I smile sheepishly at him. "Hey buddy, can ya dumb it down for me?"

He sighs a tired sigh, (I feel somewhat offended). "Pearl and Sandy are both girls." Patrick makes a squiggly shape with his hands (what is it supposed to be?). "Both live in different habitats. Sandy comes from land and breathes air. Peal comes from water and breathes water. Both live differently and have been taught_ things_ differently."

I think I'm starting to get it. "So, whatcha saying is that even though they're the same gender of female, they're prone to act differently due to their ecosystem thingy upbringing?"

"Uh, yeah, something like that." he replies. He finds the remote (which was in his PANTS!) and turns on my television.

Worries begin to enter my mind (not only because of Patrick's unhygienic issues). Pearl and Sandy are opposites. If Pearl's personality change is temporary as a water breather, then would mean that Sandy's personality as an air breather is...permanent. No! That can't be true. Just as Patrick explained, her change in attitude must be a mammalian land thing. Though how long will it last? I'd better ask a specialist in land animals. I got it! I'll go to the Bikini Bottom Library and find a book on...oh wait. I can't. I've been banned from that place for 236 days. New plan, I'll just ask someone who's wise and intelligent. Someone with years and years of experience in cultures. Patrick's sleeping (again). At first I decide to go to Sandy, but once realising that she's the problem I stop in my tracks. After a few moments, I snap my fingers and know who to ask.

.

.

After staring at me, Squidward slams his door shut (a little forcefully). Since he was in a towel with his shower cap on, I think that maybe he wanted to finish his shower. No matter, I think of the next person I can ask at work tomorrow. It's a great man, a wise one, it's (drum roll please)... the hard-working owner of the Krusty Krab; the devoted father to Pearl and a veteran from the Navy; Mr. Krabs.

* * *

A/N: Writing Patrick is so hard, the guy's an enigma! Also, what's your response on Sandy's new behaviour? By the way, I will be updating Therapy for a Sponge (to those who read that) soon-I haven't forgotten about that story. Constructed criticism and advice is so wanted, so don't hesitate!


	6. Jealously and Possessiveness

Disclaimer: I can hope, wish and dream that I own SpongeBob, but it's just wishful thinking. Stephen Hilenburg is the owner.

**Title:** Jealously and Possessiveness

He had camouflaged himself and clumsily hid in the Goo Lagoon sand for thirty minutes. He had poorly worn a disguise and crouched behind a rock for sixty minutes, (he needed a good view of the tree dome). He had even paid his boss with money for a break early, so he could stealthily follow the different places his colleague took to her to. Could his actions be called spying? Yes, it could. A boyfriend tailing (more like stalking) his girlfriend during the week, had to be with-out-a-doubt a bad sign of some sort. For this usually optimistic boyfriend to warily observe (with high-tech binoculars of course): who his girlfriend was with on a specific day, and how she acted and talked with the said person had to imply that this boyfriend was perhaps mistrustful that his girlfriend could fall for another other than him. However, maybe this usually optimistic boyfriend was jealous of the time his girlfriend spent with other guys than him? It was most likely the case and unfortunately was.

The boyfriend's eyes twitched as the red lobster causally leaned his arms over his girlfriend's, and when his eye glared at how the pink starfish easily made his girlfriend double over wit laughter, or also when the turquoise octopus effortlessly kept his girlfriend engrossed with his discussions. The: lobster, starfish and octopus were indeed his friends, yet he; a yellow sponge, named SpongeBob, had been irked by them with a curious and envious eyes which he wouldn't admit to himself and let alone his girlfriend.

.

.

"...He used to aggravate me. I mean I've always thought of Squidward as a stick in the mud, but lately-he ain't so bad. I like him." she says.

"Larry is literally the life of the party. Everywhere he goes, eyes are on him-even I can't help but stare." she exclaims.

"Y'all know that Rick, oh sorry. By Rick I mean Patrick." his eyes widened. "You must surely know how he sometimes rubs me the wrong way, well that's changed now. Ever since we've found a medium between us, we're becomin' closer than bark on tree." she declares.

When digesting her words down, it became hard for him stop clenching the glass in his hands so tightly. '_Calm down SquarePants. Sandy won't be pleased if you spill the lemonade over her couch. Like she always says, no need to throw a conniption' over nothing. It doesn't matter that she likes Squidward now, or that she can't keep her eyes of Larry or even the fact that...the fact that she has a new name for Patrick...It doesn't matter. At all.' _he thinks.

"SpongeBob?" she questions, realizing the lemonade in his hands are spilling out it's contents. "Bob, what's up?" her hand rests on one of his shoulders, temporarily calming him down.

"Oh, nothings up." he responds, setting the drink down on the table in front of her couch. "I was just deep in thought, I guess."

Sandy removes her hand from his shoulder, studying him for a moment. "Hmm, you were deep alright. I called yer name twice and ya couldn't respond then." she chuckles to herself, recalling something in the past. "It's funny, how y'all remind me of Lucas on the show me and-"

He lost it there.

SpongeBob does not wish to know the other guy. He does not want to know who she's spending a lot of her time with. He does not need to know, but he does need to tell her something.

.

.

Her words halt as the top-half of her body is pushed down on the couch, her head rested on the arm rest. The actions of the offender are far from malicious, but they weren't too gentle either. She looks up at him.

"Sandy, I don't want you spending your time with them." he states in all seriousness. "I don't want you spending your time with them any more. It's not...not appropriate." Despite herself, she almost flinches from his reprimanding tone of voice "I mean, you could easily go to to the mall with Pearl, create another amazing invention or even hang out at Ms. Puff's home-she is lonely sometimes."

She blinks at him, genuinely surprised. His words surprise her as well as his actions. Both his hands are gripping tightly onto her arms as if he was scared of her slipping away. Him manhandling her goes unnoticed for a moment, because the squirrel has never thought or even imagined in her life that SpongeBob (her boyfriend of four, and fourteen days) could sound and be so possessive as well as jealous. SpongeBob, green with envy? It's enough to make her laugh. The shock wears off because in all honesty, she's amused by such development from him.

Her voice is clear and calm, and that reaches to him. "Bob, y'all surely know that I ain't as dumb as a box of hammers. I do know who 'them' is." she says. "Don't lie to me. Answer me truthfully why you don't like me with 'them'."

His hands on her shoulders loosen their grip.

"B-because the way you and...you're always happy when...I don't," he pauses, brows furrowing in concentration to not shout at her and reveal how miffed he feels when Patrick, Squidward and Larry comment on the awesome days they've spend with Sandy. "I don't like it. Honest to Neptune, I just don't like it, nor do I accept it." The squirrel feels like gulping when his blue eyes darken a shade. "You're my girlfriend. Mine, not theirs."

The squirrel can detect the tones of: jealously and possessiveness emitting from his words. Still, she is amused, but him declaring her 'his' makes her heart pound louder and her mind blank for a moment. She's never seen this side of SpongeBob. She doesn't wish to question at this moment why she is feeling slightly thrilled at his last sentence.

.

.

Reality crashed down on the sponge.

He slaps his hand over his mouth, realising all he's said and what he's done, or currently doing. SpongeBob leaps away from her to the other end of this couch, mortified and ashamed. A whole heap of apologies leak out his mouth, and all Sandy can do is watch and try not to giggle at such a scene.

_'I wonder if I'll ever get used to his quick personality changes.'_ she thought.

"...That was so wrong of me. Really, really wrong." he comments. "My actions were worser than stealing candy from a baby, or littering on the pavement, worser than stealing the secret formula from the Krusty Krab or even-"

She scoots over to him, tapping on that bubble helmet of his to grab his attention. "Bob, it's okay, I forgive ya. No need to get all worked up over yer outburst." his head looks up at her, and Sandy can't tell if he was crying or not because his helmet is full of water. "I do see we're you're coming from, but seriously SpongeBob, y'all shouldn't be so jealous."

"I shouldn't? I mean, I wasn't jealous." he affirms.

She raises a brow at this. There's no way she's letting him off the hook so easily.

"You ain't jealous?"

"No." he voices quietly.

"Are ya seriously tellin' me that you ain't the least envious at how I can get a long purty fine with three other guys other than you, my boyfriend?"

Her eyes won't leave him. He can't form the words of denial at her when she can see through him so clearly. He has to submit. "Well, it's likely that maybe I'm...slightly," he stops, sucking in his cheeks to wonder to himself why it is so hard to admit. "as you said, perhaps I'm a little jealous."

The grin she tried to hold back is present her face. "Well partner, if by little you mean big then we're on the same page."

Nodding his head, the yellow sponge deflates a little, still not liking the fact he couldn't contain his struggles within him. One struggle becomes vocal.

"So...are ya still planning on going to the new museum with Squidward on Tuesday?"

The squirrel answers his question with a cheerful 'yes' before she realises, how the heck he knew such a thing? She decides to question him on the matter further later, the expression on his face is more important.

Sandy holds his hand in hers. "SpongeBob, look at me, 'cause I think you need to hear this." he turns and she points at him. "You. You, Mr. SquarePants are mah boyfriend. It ain't Larry, it ain't Squidward, and no matter how close me an Pat get, it ain't ever gonna be him. Understand." she squeezes his hand and moment later, he squeezes back. Before she can say more, he interrupts her by raising his hand.

"Yes, SpongeBob?"

"I'm more relieved about what you said about Patrick, but you didn't say that 'you ain't ever' gonna be with Squidward and Larry, so does that mean they still have a chance with you?"

She blinks at him, this time in disbelief. _'Has he been listenin'?'_. She shakes his spongy form none too gently as if for the sponge to extract oxygen from the water in his bubble helmet full of it.

She stops shaking him. "Ugh, y'all can't be this jealous. Not even the colour of seaweed is as green as you." she sighs noticing that he didn't get her saying. She tries a different tactic. "Looky 'ere, Larry an me are friends, me and Squidward are good acquaintances, and me an Pat are somewhat friends and you and me are-"

"-together." he states factually.

Although Sandy refuses to detect the possessiveness that was in that statement, her cheeks do heat up. "Yes, together. This means that there are some things that y'all can do do that no other can do." she explains further. "For starters, you as mah boyfriend have rights to _touchin'_ me."

He doesn't understand at first. "What do you mean by tou-" memories of the drama/romance film they watched a while back called 'Touchez-moi' re-enters his mind. A blush stains his cheeks. By the devious grin on her face, SpongeBob understands exactly what his girlfriend meant by touch. "Oh, is th-that so?" he manages to ask.

She nods, biting her lips from laughing. She wonders if he's reminded of the film they watched a while back. It has to be the explanation for the colour on his freckled cheeks.

.

.

After much more blushing and near faintness at the explicit declarations of what SpongeBob can do to her that no other is allowed to, all things right in the world turn normal again.

He voices his thoughts out loud. "One day, I'd like to see you, get jealous or possessive over me."

She rolls her eyes half-heartedly. _'That'll be the day' _she thinks. Sandy didn't get jealous or possessive-it wasn't in her nature (normally). "In your dreams, SpongeBob?"

"Maybe," he replies. "but I wonder how you'd react if you knew how Debby and Emily acted around me." He chuckles a little at the events that occurred on April the first. The two girls had been so serious then that he had nearly believed them. "I bet the almighty Sandy would feel a little green herself."

His chuckling stops, when feeling the temperature in the room cold. Ice cold. Looking at the squirrel next to him in question, he finds his answer. She's smiling, and by no means is it a genuine smile, but the innocent one. SpongeBob knows this smile by experience and it ain't too pleasant to remember how. His heart pounds when she speaks. "Emily and Debby, huh...y'all ain't ever mentioned them to me, SpongeBob." he winces at the accusatory tone in her voice. He begins to sweat at the next. "Who are they?"

* * *

A/N: So what's d'ya think of this chapter? I'm guessing some of you will know what 'touchez-moi' means, but if ya don't then search the word on google. Constructed criticism and advice is very much welcomed.

Spoiler: Next chapter-will feature a **special** moment between SpongeBob and Sandy. It's about time SpongeBob understood his confusion a lil' better.

ME TO YOU

**Night-Waker:** Spot on! For SpongeBob, it probably will be hilarious awkward for him and Mr. Krabs to discuss such things about a girl. Hopefully Squidward doesn't interrupt or walk in at the wrong moment.

**DarkButterfly128:** I do hope the next 25 chapters do satisfy you well. It's true, I did forget that with Pearl being a whale-she does breathe air too...BTW, Sandy returning normal might will be interesting event.

**Enigma:** I'm glad you liked Patrick's humour moments and also (poor) SpongeBob's confusion.


	7. Love Potion 4

Disclaimer: I can hope, wish and dream that I own SpongeBob, but it's just wishful thinking. Stephen Hilenburg is the owner.

**Title:** Love Potion 4

"Sure, SpongeBob. I'd be glad to pass on some of me impartial wisdom." he replies. "Always remember that it's money that makes the world go-"

"-that's not the kind of guidance I need Mr. Krabs." I interrupt. "It's not about money."

"Oh, is that so?" he comments, leaning back in his stiff chair. "Then what seems to be the problem, lad?"

I feel slightly hesitant before I speak. "Well it's...about a girl." I answer meekly. "A girl I've known for a very, very long time. We're good friends and I'm sure you know her too. She sometimes comes to the Krusty Krab, and she even worked here once as-"

I stop speaking.

I also nearly jump out of my chair, scared to death at the sound my ears hear (it sounded like smashing fists). Looking to the source of the sound, my eyes widen to what was once Mr. Krabs' desk, destroyed to smithereens. Debris is everywhere. I look to the only person in the room who could've done that (no way in Davy Jones Locker is it me). I'm gawking (and mentally trembling) at the feral glare Mr. Krabs is throwing at me.

"Lad," I gulp at his tone of voice. What have I done now? "you're a good fry cook and all, but you'll walk the plank if you think I'll let you be with me only daughter Pearl. I'll even-"

Wait a minute. His only daughter? Pearl...Pearl! That's definitely NOT who I was talking about.

Throwing my hands up in surrender (because I can't find my white flag), I interrupt Mr. Krabs for the second time today. "Mr. Krabs, I am NOT talking about Pearl!" I splutter. "It's Sandy! Sandy Cheeks!"

The 'crazy' look in his eyes (that can rival Gary's in the mornings) fades away and I can recognise good ol' Mr. K again.

Wiping his brow, he says, "Whew, that's a relief. I could've keelhauled ya, and sent you to Fiddlers Green." I try not to wince at his once threats. "Now, tell me boy, what's the problem with you and the land squirrel?"

I fiddle with my fingers, not really sure what to say and where to start. Plenty of things have happened between me and Sandy. Plenty things of confusing things that Mr. Krabs might question me on.

"C'mon Mr. SquarePants, I ain't got eternity in me life span."

My mouth opens, and out comes the explanation of the days that transpired between me and the Sandy. The Sandy who wasn't-acting-like-herself-but-still-looked-talked -and-smelt-like-herself. I talk about the questions she asked, the game we played but I don't dare elaborate on the massage incident (Mr. Krabs might think that something else happened).

"Aye, it is what I feared." my boss states. "I didn't think it'd happen now though. Darn Mr. Squidward."

My eye brows furrow, what does Squidward have to do with anything? Mr. K begins mumble inaudible words I can barely pick up. I hear: lazy cashier won...bet...not me money...SpongeBob maturing. Is he speaking gibberish again?

"What you on about Mr. K?"

His eyes take notice of me. He shakes his head. "Forget what I said, Lad. Let's sail back to ye problem." His green eyes (or are they black cause of the pupil?) pierce into mine. "How old are ya?"

"Twenty two, twenty-three in a few months." I happily answer.

"Hmm," he hmm's scratching his chin. "I'm surprised ye don't know what's going on. Well it is you after all. As she is a land creature, there's no really telling what her motives are but, she is all women," he states. "a pretty lass when I think about it." my eyes twitch at his words. "It's quite obvious Mr. SquarePants. The lil' squirrel find you to be quite fetchin'."

"So by that you mean..."

"That she likes ya. Yes, that's what I mean." he affirms.

Why does everyone keep saying that? I know Sandy likes me. I like her too as well. "Mr. Krabs, I know Sandy likes me I like her too."

He sighs and begins to scratch his chin again. "How can I explain this to ya...er, the lass has a um...what's the word Pearl and her friends use?" he questions himself. "A crack, creak, cruise, crumple? No, I've nearly got it...crush? That's it! The land squirrel is crushin' on ya boy, or maybe a lil' more so considering that interestin' game you've played with her."

"A crush?" My head shakes at that. "No, no, no Mr. Krabs. We've been friends for years and if Sandy liked me like that then surely-"

My mouth closes when he shakes his head at me.

"Love works in mysterious ways SpongeBob." the way he speaks indicates that he's got experience.

I don't how to reply to that because the situation is still absurd. Me and Sandy? Together? Like a...a couple? I never thought of that. Ever! That idea of us being more than friends isn't something I've even thought could be possible, I mean she's smart, strong and she's like, well, I think she's pretty. Squidward has joked around and called her my girlfriend and me her boyfriend but he was just kidding around. He didn't mean it.

"I-I guess so," is all I can say. "I've never thought that, I mean, me and Sandy?"

Mr. Krabs nods his head sympathetically at me. "Truth be told boy, many of us thought it'd be you that be attracted to her. Seems like fate constructed her own plans," after scratching his chin for the third time today, he begins to chuckle. "unless her plans weren't working and she gave the squirrel a love potion to drink."

A smile at little that. A love potion. That would explain Sandy's different actions towards me a lot easier than her actually crushing on me. Ha! Still, it's funny how a few days ago, Sandy had created that pink lil' love potion for those two yellow birds: Hina and Kalani.

What had she been saying again?

_'We scientists do this all the time. This potion is to help these two birds fall in love.' _

Oh, yeah. I remember that while she poured one half of the potion in Kalani's cage, I had the other half and was going to pour it in Hina's, but she had escaped (sneakily so) and grabbed the potion away from me and...and...whoa, I need a rewind there.

Okay, firstly, Sandy had tripped trying to catch Hina. Hina's claws had let go of the pink potion. When I ran to Sandy, her head was bleeding. There was no sharp or spiky things on the floor where Sandy had fell and the only sharp thing that could've hurt would've been the glass Hina had dropped...Oh dear Neptune! Sandy had said about the potion that, _'it has absolutely no effect on sea critters.'_ Sandy isn't a sea critter! She had tried to hold a breath underwater in the Krusty Krab and nearly killed herself doing so (I'll never forgive myself for that incident). Then that means that...it means that...she's in love with me, because of the potion. Therefore, the Sandy who wasn't-acting-like-herself-but-still-looked-talked -and-smelt-like-herself was only not acting like herself because of the potion.

As I abruptly stand up from my chair, I don't pay attention to it toppling over.

My own eyes pierce into my bosses. "Mr. Krabs, I require I long lunch break today. Preferably now." Even if Sandy's actions are at stake and I'm determined about this mission I must embark on, I can't forget my manners. "Please?"

A loud baritone laugh is not what I expect from my boss. "Finally acting like a man I see. About time. By all means, go."

My smile stretches to edges of my face. "Thanks, Mr. Krabs!"

When I'm halfway opening the door, I arc my head back hearing my boss call my name.

"Yes, Mr. Krabs?"

"The impartial wisdom I've given to you comes with a charge, boy." I nod my head at this. Naturally, to financially support the necessary SECRET things of the Krusty Krab, Old Man Krabs tend to charge me for: working at the Krusty Krab ($100 an hour), breathing and for simply existing.

"Instead of charging ya for money, you will purchase and replace me damaged $68.00 desk."

That did sound reasonable.

"Sure, I'll get right on it. I won't rest until I find you the exact wood style your desk once was." I pick up one of the debris. "I'm sure it's that Red Oak type, but sure does look like dark Maple and also-"

"SpongeBob." is what he says, cutting me off in a serious tone.

Despite myself, I gulp. "Yes, Mr. K?"

"That is mahogany."

"O-okay, Mr. Krabs." I stutter. "Mahogany, I got it. Thank you again."

.

.

First thing first. Sandy takes priority over finding Mr. Krabs new desk. I gotta get her back to her old self no matter what. I also need to get a sample of that potion from somewhere in her lab. With my hands shoved in my pockets, I stroll down the way home brainstorming an innovative plan.

_'Hmm, me and Sandy didn't exactly part in the most pleasant way, so I cant just enter and greet her like normal...Think SpongeBob, think...I got it! I'll stealthily enter her tree dome at night and then sneakily enter her lab and then locate the love potion.'_

I continue walking, realising I've stopped. _'What else am I forgetting? Of course, spy clothes! I'll have to look the part if I'm going to be playing it. I do look dashing in a black suit.'_

.

.

Crouching behind barnacle covered rock, I peer out from the left side and reach for my high-tech binoculars (from Goofy Goober's surprise bag) . I survey the view in front of me. The tree dome can be seen, and Sandy cannot. Good. She must've gone to bed by now. I glance at my watch. It states: 21:01. One minute past nine o' clock, time to dig my way under. Good thinking on my part that I brought my helmet with me this time. I don't want to suffer from a concussion again.

After I rise out of the hole, I dust the dirt off my suit. Immediately, I tuck and roll under Sandy's picnic bench when feeling the 'attacks' hit me. What the heck was that? It felt like bullets, no, no that. Sandy's not really a mad psychotic scientist. Peering out of the bench, my eyes focus intently on what the attack was. I gasp in amazement that it was...rain. It's raining in her tree dome! I've been in it before when it snowed but never have I seen rain before. Well, this must be my lucky day today cause now I don't have to continue wearing my bubble helmet (which does weigh a few pounds).

Skilfully, I'm tiptoeing my way across to Sandy's lab (so I don't alert any wild bull worms trained to sniff me out), once I'm inside, I freeze, waiting for it, anticipating to see it, but...huh, that's weird. In the spy movie, there were these sizzling hot red lasers all over the scientific lab. Tartar sauce! I was hoping to perform awesome acrobatic moves over them to retrieve the important object (which is the potion).

Moving on, I spot and move to the place Sandy had been when she had gotten hurt. The broken glass and pink liquid (the potion) that was once on the floor a few days ago is non-existent. Fish Paste! Sandy must've clean the mess, I can't think of any other reason.

_'There's no way this can be end. There was another half to the potion, wasn't there? Remember, remember, remember...yes, there is. Kalani's snacks! Sandy had poured the love potion all over his food, there's gotta be some traces of it there.'_

Today's is my lucky day. I must've gotten a four-leaf clover stuck on me when I tuck rolled on the grass, because the bird's snack is indeed still covered with the pink liquid. Where my handkerchief is supposed to be, I pull out the small plastic wallet from my outer welt pocket on my suit and place one or maybe two bird snacks for good measure into it.

Inside, I grin in glee. Looks like I've learnt a lot from the Jam Beau spy movie that came out last year. I glance at my watch 21:30. That's record time! MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

.

.

"Clever, so that's how y'all trespassed 'ere." comments a female voice with a Southern drawl I (unfortunately at this moment) know all too well. I guess this MISSION is UNACCOMPLISHED, unless I talk my way out of this.

"S-Sandy, how are y-you doing this fine night?"

I hear what seems to be a chuckle from her, I feel slightly on the edge now. Sandy, dressed in a lilac coloured bathrobe (or night gown?) leans away from her tree and slowly walks over.

"I've been better," the tone of her voice is emotionless. It makes me wince, "but I think the question is what the heck are you doin' here at this time of night SpongeBob SpyPants?"

"Heh, heh, good one Sandy." I praise, scratching the back of my head. "Well, um. I was just, er-"

"-er what?"

My mind's working over time, scrambling hard for something good to say. "Spying around?" I answer (quite pitifully).

"I can see that." she answers. "If I do say so myself, you look rather dashin' in that suit of yers."

I mumble a 'thanks' and Sandy shakes her head, but there's no smile on her face. The rain keeps pouring down lightly in the tree dome and I wonder why Sandy doesn't mind getting wet. _'Maybe she doesn't mind because she doesn't care.' _speaks my mind. This worries me.

She holds out a hand, halting my words. "On second thought, I don't even wanna hear it." she says, sitting down on her bench, crossing one leg over the over. "I just want ya to get out of 'ere, preferably now." one finger of hers points bluntly to the exit. "Count yer blessing's that I ain't even gonna call the cops on yer behind."

I stare at her, and she stares intently back. I can't seem to find anything positive in her eyes. Considering what happened, I guess it has been five days since we've last seen each other. Like I said before, we didn't exactly part in the most pleasant way. She must be hurting, just as I am.

"Sandy-"

"-No." she says, cutting me off.

I clench my fist by my side thinking that this mission is gonna be the hardest of all. Somehow, some way, I swear by all that is good in a krabby patty that I won't leave her house tonight until I fix our relationship.

.

.

"A few days ago, we didn't exactly part in a friendly way, did we?" I start off, gently and incredibly slowly, walking my way over to her.

She laughs, though I notice that it's dry, emotionless again and almost bitter. "So that's how you describe it?"

"Sandy, I might know what's going on, I mean I think I might know that-"

"-know what? What exactly do y'all know?" she questions. "What could you or anybody else know about the feelings and the emotions that flow within me?"

When her eyes pierce into mine, I cast my head down, not knowing what to say.

Her fingers began to massage her forehead. "Dang nabbit! Why am I attracted to such a kid like you? Something must be wrong with me, no, something is wrong with me." she exclaims frustratingly. I'm not angry at her for stating me of being a kid (even though I'm 21, I mean 22). "Every time you touch me I-I...I get this feelin' and my body jolts in this weird way while my body heats up to a high degree and I don't know why." She looks up at me in all seriousness. "Whatever I do, it's obviously not something y'all don't like."

How do I reply to that? There's some truth but also a lot of confusion in the way.

"I know y'all don't desire to be with me like...you don't like me like that. I know now." she trails off, but why does she keep saying that I don't like her?!

"Sandy," I say with gravity. "you gotta stop with this I don't like you mumbo jumbo 'cause I do too like you. I like you a lot and-"

"Prove it!" she demands.

I take a step back. "W-what?"

"If y'all ain't lyin' then I want y'all to prove it."

"H-how? How can I?" I question myself even.

"Kiss me."

I swallow hard at that.

I gulp again because I know exactly where she wants me to kiss her. Something in my gut tells me that that's exactly where.

.

.

A few minutes must've past 'cause Sandy sighs now and looks to her left. I know she's disappointed, or annoyed (maybe it's a combination of both).

"I understand," her voice so detached, it makes my heart want to break. "Honestly, I get it."

I can't stand to see her in this state, let alone let her think like that. It's as if she's the personification of crestfallen and the rain pouring down isn't helping. Her facial expression is more upsetting than five days ago. It's more heart breaking than the time she told me she was leaving Bikini Bottom. I can't stand it. Sandy's my friend. I care about her, love her to the point I'd even die for her. That's why I'm gonna show it to her, therefore I will.

My hands grabs her shoulders before she can even think of getting up.

Taking one glance at her, I wish that any another emotion will shine brightly after this.

It's quick and it's sudden and I'm not entirely sure what I'm doing but I do it (even though I've never done this before).

With my face intimately close to hers, I angle my head, shut my eyes, and gently press my lips against hers.

I've never done this before. Never, ever. This is my first time. I don't think I'll ever forget this and my mind tells me I won't. That's a relief, cause I don't want to. It's a nice feeling.

I slowly pull away, profoundly afraid that I've really kissed in the wrong place (since she didn't respond back), but that doesn't seem to be the case. Gauging her facial expression, she's looks shocked and I rather like that emotion than crestfallen. Her shock is not the Plankton's stealing the Krusty Krab formula shock, but the Plankton stole the Krusty Krab formula and is ruling Bikini Bottom again shock.

Not even before I can: question, speak or even apologise, but before I can even think of doing so, her lips are on mine without my notice. They're firmer, warmer and so much softer than mine were or could ever be.

I'm kiss back to the best of my ability, because, because...because I want to. I really want to, to the point where I have to. This kiss, us kissing (I still can't believe it). I can't describe fully in words but this just feels...me and her. It just feels amazingly good, almost like a dream, no, better than a dream.

Simultaneously, our lips break apart due to the need of oxygen. After seven seconds, simultaneously again, our lips connect once more.

Tentatively, the kiss was gradually changing a notch. As Sandy's mouth began to massage against my own, out sprung this sweet, sweet wave of pleasure throughout my body when I imitated it against hers as well. I don't know what came over me (Honest to Neptune), but on impulse, my tongue slid out my mouth, fondly caressing her soft lips over and over again. She tastes like, like...barnacles! What is that flavour? I couldn't contemplate much on her taste when hearing her softly moan and pull me closer then ever before.

Her hands already on my shoulders, firmly lifting me and herself further on her picnic table. Only for a few seconds are lips are detached from another, however (maybe impulsively) I make sure to attach us two again, barely realising I'm on top of her on her own table.

The sensation of delight in my body seems to be spreading to my every limb and bone, warming up in temperature every time her fingers teasingly stroke inside one of my pores, play with my bow tie and especially when her legs (nice, comforting and furry) wrap around me. Moments before we (desperately need to now) break apart for much needed oxygen, I realise that my tongue isn't the only thing experimental in my body, my pearly whites are too. I gently bite on her bottom lip caught between my teeth and I hear a mystifying sound that intensely excites and frightens me all the same.

Instantly, I move my face far away from hers.

That moan of hers, louder than the first softer one and so much more meaningful than the previous one from five days ago, gives me the shivers. Dear Neptune, she moaned my name. My name...just by saying it, she's caused the once wave of pleasure to burst and melt inside of me (how does that make sense?). It can't be pleasure, this thing, this feeling or sensation has to be something more.

.

.

Our eyes lock when meeting. Speechlessly, we gaze at each other, not wanting any words to break out the trance we're in. I'm not sure how we both seem to know this. Finally, I'm aware of our distance to another and I think my eyes might've woken a little. Deciding not think on that too much, I focus on what I can hear instead of see. My ears pick on her panting, my own even and I focus on hers more because I don't mind it. There's something about the fact that I'm responsible fore her breathlessness that creates a second wave of something within me.

Not wanting another melt down inside me to occur, I change my sight to her face and I admit that it's strange seeing her up close like this. My eyes take in her the: small curls of a fringe growing at the top of her head, her nose, her eye lashes, her brown eyes and the most significant; her lips.

Why I'm noticing this now is beyond me, but Sandy's eye lashes are: black, fairly long and dark, accompanied with her eye colour which aren't black or just dark. They're brown, a chocolate brown, no, not even that. There's two other shades I can see, there's: a bronze shade that seems to spark and, is it auburn? How can I have not noticed this? It suits her well. I move onto her pink nose which I've always found adorable. It's pink, a light feminine pink which isn't Sandy favourite colour at all, but it suits her well.

Her lips are intriguing to me considering that I've been, well what we've been doing. At the moment, they're still tinged slightly pink or red or a rosy pink. Either way, I can't stop staring at them without remembering how tender and moist they were when they were pressed against mine, or how succulent they felt when...I hear muffled chuckles, my brow raises and I look her. It only makes her muffled chuckles un-muffled and there's no way I mind the sound. It's pleasant, joyful, musical even.

It comes crashing down on me. Everything does. Why in Davy Jones Locker am I realising now, now that Sandy, Sandy Cheeks; my friend of ten years isn't the same cute gal who saved me from a man-eating clam but...I gulp. A beautiful girl I've come to know so fortunately well. A beautiful girl who might be crushing on me. I don't have the same reaction I had at the Krusty Krab.

.

.

I grab a one of her wandering hands that was too close to pocket with the potion...Jumping Jellyfish! The potion! Remembering the mission and what I've retrieved and what it means, and my prioritises, I look at my watch and glance at the time: 22:30! It's been an hour that I'm here, or is it how long we were both kind of active with each other.

"Y'all need to be somewhere?" she questions, probably cause she saw me look at my watch.

"Yeah," I drawl, "I gotta go pretty soon."

"I, see." she states. Biting her own lips (which makes me want to do it instead). I see that she's worried about something, it has to be what we've done or what it possibly means.

"Sandy, I, what we did, I was really er, you and me..."

She places her finger on my mouth, shutting me up. "When you talk a mile per hour, even I don't have enough of an attention span to listen fully." her light tone fades. "I just wanna know one thing. You tell me the truth, that's all I ask. Do you regret it?"

I don't even need to think it over. With what I felt there and then, what I'm feeling now. "No. I don't."

She breathes out a breath I think she may have been holding. "Thanks for being honest with me."

"You're welcome."

I get off the picnic table and Sandy slides down it instead, sitting down on the bench. Minutes pass by, since I don't know what else we could possibly say to each other.

"I guess I'll see you around, Sandy. Hopefully sooner this time." I promise.

"I'd like that, but don't ya think you could seal that promise for me?"

"With what?"

She grins, and places a finger to her lips.

Even if I'm blushing redder than the stop sign for boat mobiles, I don't hesitate like the last time to kiss her, but as I draw nearer, Sandy yet again places one of her fingers on my lips, preventing me from accessing hers. There's a smirk on her face and I feel a little disappointed (and secretly annoyed). Our lips our literally just inches apart and if she would just remove her finger then maybe we could be kissing.

"On second thought, never mind" she says (quite cheekily if I do say so myself).

"Why?" I question and groan at the same time.

"SpongeBob, it's ten at night, we'll both be going to sleep soon and having dreams." It's been a long time since I've seen a mischievous smile on Sandy's face. "I dunno about you, but I purty like my dreams squeaky clean. I don't wanna relieve in detail how intimate we were together." she replies. "I wouldn't be able to sleep properly while imagining your tongue licking my lips once more, would y'all agree?" she questions in a low tone that makes my legs tremble.

"Y-y-yes, I do too a-agree."

"Thought so." she nods her head, and rises up to her feet. She places a pat on my head and walks off to her tree house. I don't miss the way her bathrobe clings to her because of the rain or the smile she throws at me looking back. I don't hesitate to return it back (embarrassingly so).

* * *

A/N: FOUR is my favourite number so maybe that's way this chapter is too LONG. I think they kind of fixed their relationship on a good note. Just some things to clear up confusion in case there was any:

-Lil' SpongeBob is growing up, in 'Love Potion' he is at least. He's beginning to realise there some stuff out there he enjoys doing or particularly likes. Despite him being a child stuck in an adults body, that child has to mature a little.

-Jam Beau is actually the word 'Jambeau' which sounds a little like French for ham, but is actually a real-life yellow fish in the sea. Jam Beau is fictionally in my fanfic the personification of James Bond.

Hope you as the reader enjoyed it (tell me your favourite part), criticism and advice is very much welcomed.


	8. Vanilla

Disclaimer: I can hope, wish and dream that I own SpongeBob, but it's just wishful thinking. Stephen Hilenburg is the owner.

**Title:** Vanilla

* * *

The befuddling sight of his struggles halted her tongue's descent into the ice cream. Him was the sponge. The sponge was her friend. Roughly for about four years the squirrel had engaged in a rather stimulating and satisfying friendship with this particular sponge. She knew quite much about him and vice versa. He, the sponge was not like most people and the squirrel had come to realise that fact in the thirtieth day of their friendship. Him being abnormal was okay, it made him entertaining as she had thought. To her, it meant that she'd get many surprises from him, despite some of them being incredibly befuddling like now.

Instead of sighing pitifully as most would, she breathed out a laugh and continued her tongue's descent down into her frozen dessert. It would melt otherwise.

Hearing a laugh which obviously came from his friend, the sponge looks up at the squirrel, stiffening up at the sight before him. He blinks once and then conceivably twice. What was once a glance at her, turned into a gawk. If the perceptive squirrel felt scrutinised about his gawking then she wasn't showing it. To the sponge, the knitting kit paled in comparison to the squirrel, so it soundlessly fell on grass unimportantly, uninterestingly.

His blue eyes closely examined in the struggle she was in. They vigilantly drinked in the way her trained tongue rounded the cone like a base, eliminating any defiant drips that ran down the ice cream cone. His eyes observed the routine she placed herself in, by the way she seemed to work her way up to smooth the surface of the ice cream and construct it into a purposeful mound. For some reason, the sponge found it captivating how the ice cream gradually began to disappear by the way her tongue persistently licked and licked and licked. Pondering what flavour it was, his mind answered, _'Vanilla.'_ the said flavour happened to be his favourite. His favourite ice cream of all time, absent-mindedly, he licks his own lips. Regardless of what their relationship is, the sponge can't help the need to help her out. Perhaps this explains why he promptly raised out of his seat and purposely walked over to her side.

Hearing a squeaky sound of footstep which obviously came from her friend, the squirrel looks up at the sponge, titling her head up at the sight before her. His eyes seemed hypnotised almost in a trance.

"You okay, Sp-"

His name dies down in her throat. With the sponge's yellow index finger and thumb positioned naturally nearly causally on her chin, she can only look at him to wonder what the heck is going on.

When she glimpsed up at him, he wasn't looking at her any more. His eyes were on her face, lips she corrected in her mind. Neither thinks or speaks with the strangle lull in the air. His thumb moves itself advances and with a mind of its own, lightly traces her bottom lip, sliding deliberately to wipe away the vanilla that coats them. Her cheeks warm at a high temperature.

The squirrel grip on her cone slackens slightly, as the sponge's ascends up to trace her top lip, still with his thumb. Her mind is barely working at the moment because his actions are so out of character, incredibly incongruous. She's always managed to predict his motives despite him being a spontaneous type of guy. Yet, she still can declare his intentions seemingly being gentle, his movements gentle and his touch too and calming, possibly sensual. She wonders if his tenderness towards her is the felon that's controlling her breath to hitch and her heart to beat dangerously against her ribcage. Shaking away such irrational thoughts, she reasons that it's the circumstance she's in now. An intimate circumstance with a friend. Her entertaining friend.

There's a sense of loss and confusion within her when his thumb withdraws from her lips. She doesn't question it, she listens to him speak, surprised to hear his voice.

"You were so preoccupied with your ice cream," he whispers. "that you forgot all about your unprotected lips."

If she was befuddled before, she's utterly befuddled now. She's stares at him trying to analyse what is going or what went through his mind when he did what he did, but instead she witnesses him gawking at his own thumb in amazement. _'Does he wanna...he is thinking of...'_ she stops her thought. A thought provoking thought that if the sponge did not require a bubble helmet in her tree dome then maybe he'd have disposed of the vanilla flavouring on his thumb in another way, other than rub it off.

The squirrel gulps when his gawking turns to her. His blue orbs penetrating her is not something he's done before. He rarely stated intensely focused on one scene, so why her? He not looking at her lips any more. She feels so vulnerable and she can't explain way, but she gawks back at him trying to find out what is wrong with her friend. She likes surprises from him but his action today was more of a shock.

His childish watch, strapped around his wrist, chimes out a ridiculous song which manages to break out whatever trance, or spell he was in. His eyes comically widen to the size of saucers.

"Jumping Jellyfish!" he exclaims in worry. "Sandy, I-I...I don't know what came over me. I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, Honest to Neptune. I'm not sure why I did what I did."

"I-It's okay, no need to throw yerself in a conniption'." she stutters slightly. She clears her throat, because she is not one to stutter. She's been in more embarrassing situations than this. "We all lose our head in tumble weeds sometimes."

Her reassurance lifts him up, nevertheless he bows his head in shame.

"No, what I did was not right. It was too, too..." he trails off, not really sure of what adjective can be used. The squirrel can certainty think of a few, but she rather not voice them out. "All I know was that I just had to help you, it looks like that flavour even, I mean you've even got a little over..."

Very behindhand, her face flushes. To herself, she wonders if he'll re-enact his sensual action again. She wonders to herself if she'll stop him him before from re-enacting his actions. Most importantly, she wonders to herself what it possibly mean, if she doesn't put a stop from him re-enacting his sensual action. All this wondering makes her not notice that the sticky sweetness of the ice cream running down her cone, melting as warm as her cheeks.

Whatever he could say or was about to do again is too late, as his watch profoundly plays again music of urgency.

"Barnacles! I'm two minutes late for Gary's dance recital, I've gotta go."

She sees him run half way down to the exit, frantically shouting and waving a goodbye, somehow she calls out a farewell too, but her mouth asks a question her mind hasn't approved of yet.

"Hey, SpongeBob!" she yells. "What is ya favourite ice cream?"

Even though he replies in a rush, she still gets it. Deeply bemused the squirrel raises her own brown-furred index finger towards her lips, but she stops, the reminiscence coming back and restarting. Her eye close in memory. Seconds later they open. It dawns on her that his effect, his thumb; his touch; his gentle touch, was irrevocably titillating and strangely much more evocative than her own finger could ever be. Perhaps that's why she's made no attempt to notice the sticky sweetness of the ice cream running down her cone, because...well because, it wouldn't be the same would it?

A small smile stretches across her face. She doesn't question it. "Vanilla," she murmurs, "his favourite ice cream." she shakes her head, and chuckles quietly. "I ain't never thought he'd like the unsurprising flavour."

* * *

A/N: So...how was this chapter? Vanilla factually is SpongeBob SquarePants favourite ice cream flavour-I researched it. I don't know Sandy's unfortunately, but I know my is a cross tie between cookies and cream & Vanilla of course.

Criticism and advice helps me learn from mistake and improve. If you've got a personal response to give me, I don't mind that too!


	9. Love Potion 5

Disclaimer: I can hope, wish and dream that I own SpongeBob, but it's just wishful thinking. Stephen Hilenburg is the owner.

A/N: Just to let you readers know that this is the last chapter of the short installation of 'Love Potion'. Here things will get resolved, smoothly or roughly. Before I forget, thank you readers for the reviews!

**Title:** Love Potion 5

* * *

Before she uttered the words again, he caught her soft-furred form in his arms mentally remarking, _'Just like last time.' _The antidote had successfully worked. She'd be back soon.

Now, he trusted the _Neptunian Science Committee_, he had utmost faith in the scientists and lab technicians who formulated the antidote to the love potion for their colleague Sandy, but even he could become impatient. He questioned if it would take ages for her eyes to flicker open again.

.

.

She was shifting around until she became aware of her surroundings. She understood that she was lying on something soft, a bed, her bed. Cracking one eye open, everything in her view was bleary, until she turned to her side and caught sight of an infamous colour of yellow.

She croaks out his name. "SpongeBob."

Sighing in relief, he speaks."Boy, am I glad to hear your voice. Once again you-"

"-why'd ya poison me?"

The sponge stiffens. The scientists had told him that fragments of her memories would return at a time. The sponge had hoped the recent one would be the last one, since it wasn't the most pleasant one.

Sandy lookes at him for an explanation.

"Well, you see Sandy, the thing is-"

"-you poisoned me. You, ma best friend, poisoned me." she states first. "That's what the thing is." Her accusatory tone hits him. It hits him hard. Right in the gut.

"Sandy," he pleads with remorse. "please let me explain. It may look like I tried to poison you, but I'd never do that, never in a million years, never ever! You've got to believe me on that."

"I do believe you, SpongeBob," she quietly answers. "but the fact still remains that y'all put that substance in mah drink."

"I know, I know." he answers, "but the explanation will make sense, I promise"

She sits herself up to be at eye level with him.

"Let's hear it."

.

.

From beginning to end, the sponge had told the story. He: described, explained, illustrated and expressed the past few extraordinary days that had transpired between them. First was the Hawaiian birds, second was the love potion that entered her system, third was the day she woke up from it, fourth was the questioning she gave him, fifth was the atrocious game she played with him, fifth had to be the pink stars atrocious comment, sixth was another atrocious day of massaging, seventh was the kiss-that phenomenal kiss that left her light-headed and moaning.

The N.S.C had made an error. Their hypothesis that fragments of her memory were to return at a time was wrong. As SpongeBob spoke, his voice seemingly acted as the trigger to awaken her memories. The fragments concurrently awoken and relived themselves when he spoke. Perhaps it could be the fact the he was an active participant in all her memories, nevertheless it didn't clarify why the squirrel (comically so) blushed fifty shades of red.

He comfortingly places a hand on her shoulder. "It wasn't your fault, you weren't yourself, Sandy." There's no slight or obvious movement from her. "Please say something."

There's no slight or obvious movement from her, but her voice is coats itself in incredulity, her eyes expressing it. "We...kissed."

"Yes." he affirms.

"We kissed?"

"Uh-huh."

She gestures to the two of them. "Me a land critter and you a sea critter."

"Yes, Sandy?"

Her face whitens. "No, no, no. I don't think y'all understand me." she says. "I, Sandy Cheeks and you, SpongeBob SquarePants, made out a few days ago, on my picnic table no less."

"Er, I dunno about the made out bit, but if it's a fancy word enhancer for kissing, then yeah." he answers. "I, SpongeBob SquarePants and you, Sandy Cheeks, made out a few days ago on your picnic table."

She can't bear to look at the sponge. The very same sponge who is her...well, he was her...or is he still her...Moving on, grabbing the pillow behind her, she slams it on her face in embarrassment, her face hot enough to burn through it.

His hands reach out for the pillow, his mind thinking the worst, despite being most optimistic sponge in the entire ocean. "Sandy, breathe! Suicide is not the answer!"

She tugs the pillow closer to her. "I can breathe, and no! I ain't tryin' to kill myself."

"Well, it looks like your escaping something. Something bad." he mind thinks it through. Bingo! "I get it, now! You don't wanna talk about what happened."

She doesn't answer. That's all the response he needs.

"Sandy, we have to talk about it," he urges her, pulling with more strength now. "It's the mature adult thing to do."

She smirks at his response. "Since when do y'all do the most mature adult things." she sneers.

He pauses for a moment. "What that supposed to mean?" he forgets his own question and pulls harder. At this moment, if for whatever reason someone stepped into the scene, they'd declare the scene to be a tug of war. Someone had to win, or neither.

The pillow rips in half.

It's contents pollute the air of her bedroom.

The feathers within it float around the air like angels that soar across it.

SpongeBob's entranced whilst Sandy's exasperated.

That's $12.99 out of the window.

.

.

"SpongeBob, y'all need to understand to never miss a good chance to shut up." at her harsh words, he breaks out of his entrancement. "Don't cha understand that lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back in?" she continues. "This situation we're in, is more troublin' than a chile relleno in a pan of grease." she mimics his actions from earlier on. "Please, SpongeBob, can we just forget about everythin'? Too much happened."

He lets her words sink in. It's true that it'd be much easier and peacefuller to forget all that happened. Normally he's the one to run away when things get troubling, but this time he's staying put. His hand rests upon hers that's on his shoulder.

"I think I get what you mean, Sandy. Maybe...maybe it's easier to let the cat out of the bag and harder to put it in back in." he continues with his own understanding. "Maybe we shouldn't put the cat back in the bag. You want to, but I don't. No, I don't think either of us should." faintly, the squirrel does wince at his words. "You're running away, and I won't let you. I won't let you Sandy run away from this 'cause I know that deep down, you wanna confront this."

_'Why does this compassionate sponge always do this to me?' _she thinks. Right now, she absolutely hates the way his words always get across to her stubborn self. When he's profoundly serious (which is rare), his words are: gentle, genuine and gorgeous in grasp. She hates that, and just for a second, hated him.

"Fine, if that's how y'all want it. I'll talk the legs of the chair you're sittin' on." she declares. "Let's reflect on that interestin' kiss of ours. We can't lie that it wasn't sumthin'. We both liked it, heck, we enjoyed it considerin' how long it was, don't y'all remember?" his face flushes while he nods his head.

She sighs. "Course you remember, it was yer first." she notes. "I'm sorry." the squirrel apologises. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry, SpongeBob" she apologises further. "Honestly, I'm sorry I took sumthin' so precious away from you. First kisses are unforgettable experiences shared with someone extremely special, it's the milestone in sexual adolescence growin' up and considerin' how you in particular mature, you fit that category." her gaze is sympathetic on him. "I'm sorry."

"That's not it, Sandy. That's not it at all." along with his words, he shakes his head.

"And as usual, despite us bein' tighter than on tree, I don't understand you" she admits. "Gosh, SpongeBob. I can't understand what y'all want from me." he flinches even though there's no tones of harshness in her voice. "Is it the questions I asked you, the game, my crush on ya, the massage?" his eyes widen at her indirect revelation. "What is it?"

"Sandy, did ya just say that?

"Say what?"

"You just said...you said that...you have a crush on me, at least I think you might unless I'm wrong."

The squirrel opens her mouth ready to retort, but closes it when nothing comes out.

She face palms herself. _'I just had to dive off the deep end, didn't I?'_ she mentally regrets.

.

.

Sandy rubs her head for the twentieth time, desperate in trying to think of something witty or intellectual to say to get out of a personal mess she's unintentionally created.

"Is it true?" he asks again. "Do you have a crush on me?"

She closes her eyes so won't see the expressions that form on his face. "The love potion was a powerful stimulant that affected me as a land critter, I didn't realise it would work, but that don't matter 'cause I felt the desire enhanced to, well be with you, intimately." she explains. "The only reason it worked was because I had an attraction to you before I drank it, so to answer yer two questions." she exhales a breath out. "Yes."

There's no slight or obvious verbal or non-verbal responses from him. Sandy releases her grips on her bed covers, and gains to courage to look at him. His square-shaped face is void of all feelings.

"At least blink SpongeBob." she mutters, not use to this verbal sponge's quietness.

He blinks and speaks. He himself exhales a breath in his bubble helmet. " I think I like you too, no. I mean you I like you, obviously cause you're one of my bestest friends, but I might, well I've started like liking you too, I think." he explains. "Barnacles, y'know what am trying to say, right Sandy? Y'know that I wouldn't mind if we, us together isn't so bad. I'm open for it if you are of course or if, maybe..." he trails off, unsure of how to structure his words or define exactly what 'it' is.

They both find Sandy's floorboard the most interesting thing in the entire world as they're unable to look one another in the eye. The awkward silence suffocates them both.

If brown-furred squirrel like likes the sponge and the yellow sponge like likes the squirrel, then what's the problem?

.

.

"Of course you'd be" she mutters.

"Huh, did ya say something?"

"I was just thinkin' about yer previous words." she admits. "You'd be open to 'it' cause your naturally a curious sponge. You like new experiences and 'it' would be one, but-"

"-but what?"

"Can ya explain to me what you feel for me exactly, in one to three words."

"Can I use five?" he asks.

She gives him a look and replies, "Knock yerself out."

"I'd say, the beginning of a small infatuation. That's how Squidward put it to me."

"Okay then, how do I explain this in a way you'll understand? Look, we can't be a thing together and take our relationship up a notch, at least not now."

Her response confused him, the sponge almost pouts. "B-But why, Sandy? I like like you and you like like me."

"Exactly." she states. "This small infatuation Squidward described is a fancy word for a crush or like liking someone. I have a crush on ya and y'all is startin' to crush on me, don't cha see that there's a difference in our crushin' with each other?"

"Yeah, but can't my crush on you catch up to your crush?"

Inwardly she laughs. "That's not how it works, SpongeBob IdealistPant." she jokes. "Lettme tell ya that a crush is a start or end to sumthin'. It's necessary, but not entirely sufficient enough in creatin' sumthin' new to our relationship."

"How can it not be enough?" he questions, not understanding the squirrel's logic. "Sandy, you keep appearing as the star of my day dreams, you make me nervous, I love that good feeling when thinking of you, you're extremely special and I-I don't want you out of my head." his forehead creases. "I've never felt this way about anyone before, not even patty, just you, only you."

His revelation makes her own cheeks burn. "Y-You see, y'all just described some aspects of a crush. It's nice and sweet, but as quick as it crush came, a crush can burst as quick as a bubble." she reassures next after viewing his crestfallen face. "Hold yer horses there, I ain't sayin' ma crush or yers will pop into nothingness, I'm just pointing out that it's contingent, meaning it possibly could not that it possibly would."

"So, what do we do now? What do we do with our contingent crushes?"

"We wait. We wait an see if any of our crushes develop in sumthin' further where it's more than what we mentally feel and physically desire I guess." she pokes his nose. "If yer crush on me by any chance developed into sumthin' more then I'd give you the opportunity to do sumthin' about it." she looks down at her bed covers. "And if by any chance ma crush on you developed further then I hope you'd give me the chance."

"I would give you the chance, Sandy. No doubt about it." he affirms, poking her pink nose he secretly adores.

She returns the smile, leaning towards him to reward him with physical affection; a hug. His arms wrap around her brown-furred form and her arms wrap around his sponged form. There's a strong urge within Sandy to circle one of his pores, likewise to SpongeBob who feels a strong desire to stroke her soft fur.

With such thoughts rotating in their minds, they both quickly pull away and assuringly smile to another so the other doesn't not discover out the longing that was within them at that moment.

.

.

"Nah, I'mma hav'ta say no. How about t'morrow?" she calls out. "Not that I'm upset or anythin' or don't wanna spar, I'm good now, feeling much better fo' sure, but there's a lil' thing I wanna reflect on."

He nods his head. "Of course, Sandy." he replies. There's something he wants to test out, something to prove that their crushes are real. Inwardly he smirks. "I completely understand Ms. Cheeks that our kiss was unforgettable for you. Reflect all you want." the sponge teases.

Without a moment's notice, a pillow sails through the air as quick as lightening (if not quicker), inches from touching the sponge's face, but years of Karate with his friend have taught him to duck, dodge and run, which is what he does when the next pillow comes his way, quicker! Smirking at the sight of her blush all over he face, he sprints for his life, laughing the whole way out of her tree dome.

**.**

**.**

'That sponge. I can't find the words to describe him at the moment.' His ridiculous, distinctive yet cheerful laugh vibrates throughout her room and Sandy can't help but smile at that. Her heart's racing like a trained sprinter, and punching like a professional boxer against her chest. She can't help the butterflies in her stomach that flutter in joy.

"Calm down Cheeks, like I said this crush of yours could burst as quick as bubble," she grins in memory at his playful smirk. "or not." she hopefully murmurs.

**.**

_'Phew! That was a close one.' _Closing the door to the tree dome behind him, he sinks down to the sea floor in weariness, but despite that he can't help but smile. His heart's racing like a trained sprinter, and punching like a professional boxer against his chest. He can't help the butterflies in his stomach that flutter in joy.

"Calm down SquarePants, like Sandy said this crush of yours could burst as quick as bubble," he grins in memory at her lovely blush. "or not." he murmurs hopefully.

* * *

A/N: This ended remarkably different then my first ending, for sure! What have I done to their relationship, put in on hold?

Let me explain myself: the first ending was a happy lovely romantic one, but then I thought to myself that I had to bring in a little reality. The fact that a crush does not at all signify love! Sandy being a smart as she is a more experienced in such things than SpongeBob, so I guess she'd know this. In Love Potion, as said in the 1st chapter, Sandy already had a crush on him, SpongeBob after their eventful events is starting to crush on her, sweet as it is, it ain't enough to start a relationship, it could though, but I didn't want it to.

Hope you as the readers enjoyed "Love Potion". (tell me your favourite chapter of it, or specific lines, I just love your reviews :3), criticism and advice is very much welcomed.

BTW, check out my post in the SpongeBob 'Pairings' forum in this site and tell me if you have the time, why you hate/like/love/respect/tolerate or accept the Spandy pairing. I'd like to find out the different views on it.


	10. I need you

Disclaimer: I can hope, wish and dream that I own SpongeBob, but it's just wishful thinking. Stephen Hilenburg is the owner.

A/N: I'M BACK! By the way, a cliché scene is used somewhere. Thank you readers for the reviews!

**Title:** I need you

"Thank Neptune it was me rather than you, Sandy."

The squirrel stiffened. The yellow-coloured sponge did not just say that, did he?

"Thank Neptune." she whispered, not understanding the cultural term. "Thank Neptune." she said as a curse. "Are you tellin' me...do y'all want me to thank 'Neptune' that you're in this state?" she questioned in fury. Her hands gestured at the numerous amount of bandages wrapped around his: torso, forehead, legs, arms and nose.

"Yes." he replied quietly. "Yes, I think you should."

SpongeBob winced as the vase besides his bed broke. Sandy clenched and held her hands at her sides, trying to restrain herself from cracking the next vase or breaking the window.

She cannot and will not accept his words.

She cannot understand why he still remains optimistic and she stubbornly will not let his words sink in, since she's the cause of his pain.

**. . . .**

The squirrel opened her eyes, sitting up also. She stood up, dusting herself off from the sand after having being pushed uncharacteristically by her supposedly yellow best friend.

_'What is that dang sponge's problem?'_ she thought angrily. _'Why, I oughta wrang his lil'-'_ her mental rant was immediately cut off. Her hands covered her mouth in disbelief at the sight before her. _'Is that...no. No! It ain't him!'_ the squirrel asserted.

When pinching herself and realising that she was not dreaming; she lost it. She gasped, she choked, she crumpled down. Her legs lost their strength – unable to keep standing when the sight of her friend unmoving body crashed down on her shoulders. In addition to that, Sandy also had trouble controlling her frantic breathing. She didn't respond to the crowd that began to form, or even the comforting arms of an acquaintance around her.

She started connecting the dots.

SpongeBob. Sweet selfless SpongeBob was crushed under a piano.

A piano that wasn't intended for him, since he moved her out of the way.

That would mean that she was the piano's target, so...

SpongeBob pushed her out of the way.

Sweet selfless SpongeBob pushed her out of the way to save her.

He bravely risked his well-being once again.

He discarded his own life for the sake of hers.

She wished and prayed she could disconnect the dots now.

"SPONGEBOB!" she screeched out loud.

Her legs miraculously regained strength. Acknowledging this fact, Sandy swat away the arms around her, and ignored the sympathetic words.

She ran to him.

Heart bled and her eyes burned, but she continued running.

"SPONGEBOB!"

**. . . .**

She spoke after counting to ten. "SpongeBob...you nearly died. Died as in d-i-e-d. Y'all were close to biting the dust, meeting Davy Jones Locker." she explained as calmly as she can. "You were nearly gone out of this world and you want me to thank Neptune? Are you kiddin' me SpongeBob, cuz it ain't funny."

SpongeBob fiddles with his thumbs, not knowing how to respond to her words. Instead of speaking, he offers Sandy a sympathetic yet serious look which is enough to make her flinch. The reason as to why the squirrel winces is because he is giving her 'that' look. The look of no regrets.

She cannot and will not accept this.

Sandy counts to ten again due to the fear of exploding at him. She spoke again. Guiltier this time. "Because of me, y'all were nearly paralysed. Brain dead as the doctor put it. I'm the source of your pain. I-I'm...SpongeBob I-"

"-It's OK, Sandy." he cuts in, sensing the squirrel is feeling guilty due to his actions. In his opinion, she shouldn't be. He did what he had to do save a friend.

The squirrel doesn't comprehend this. "It's not okay!" she shouts. "Don't you dare! Don't ya dare speak cow dung like that." Sandy vehemently warns. "Whateva comfortin' words you fed Patrick and your parents won't work on me. Look at yerself! Is it really okay that yer left arm is ruined for a good year or two? Is it really okay that y'all lost some sight in yer right eye?" she questions knowingly. SpongeBob casts his eyes away from her. The truth in her words do touch him.

"You're right. You are absolutely right, Ms. Cheeks." he agreed. "It's not okay. Knowing that m-my arm is not working hurts, and knowing that I can't see the sun in it's glory with perfect eyesight hurts too, but-"

"-but what?" Sandy demanded - not entirely willing to her another point of view.

"I...I think it's all acceptable. I mean, weren't cha the one that said all actions have a consequence?" SpongeBob reminded her. "Well, I guess this is it."

"SpongeBob."

"Sandy." he threw back equally. "You're alive, that's all that matters." he explained.

Sandy's body began to shake. Something was bubbling. Something inside of her that would erupt more violently than a volcano could ever hope to be.

**. . . .**

SpongeBob winced as the second and third vase besides his bed broke. Was she really that mad?

"I ain't ever thought y'all could be more selfish than a shellfish." she commented. SpongeBob cringed at the insulting tone in her words. "Do ya have any idea at the number of people who'd be destroyed with you gone? Your mum is one of them, and so is yer Pa, Gary, Patrick, even that pompous squid, yer boss, Ms. Puff and me." she explains. "Me! Me, SpongeBob! I'd miss ya, and I'd never forgive myself."

He stared at her, drinking it in. "I didn't know you were affected this way."

A dry laugh escaped her mouth. "You were out cold for a month. Of course I was affected." she spat out. especially with dark thoughts circulatin' ma mind."

"Dark thoughts? What thoughts?"

"Well dreamin' was enough so I wished. I wished so badly our roles could've been reversed." SpongeBob stilled at her words. Was she implying that she could be..."I wished so badly that I'd be the one injured, the person hurt, the one on the verge of-"

"-STOP!" he yelled authoritatively, which startled her. "Stop it, Sandy. What're you sayin'? I don't wanna hear the end of that sentence. D-Don't you dare say that unfunny stuff." he controlled his breathing, realising he had been shouting and pointing. "No matter how b-bad it is...what's done is done." he folded his arms in all-seriousness.

Her eyes were beginning to sting. Sandy bit her lip, hating herself for provoking him to be frustrated rather than relaxed. _Why do I keep hurting him?_

He holds up his hand.

"I don't regret it. I'd do it again in a heartbeat if I had to." he stared straight into her terror- terror-stricken face. He sensed that she needed a further explanation. "I'd do for anyone I cared about. My family, Gary, Pat, Squiddy, Old Man K, Ms. Puff, Pearl, the mail man and with out a doubt you."

Sandy sat down, gripping on her heavy hurt. Within it, there's grief as well as happiness.

**. . . .**

SpongeBob watched the hand on the clock move. He noted that it had been precisely ten minutes since Sandy and him had spoke. When he looked at her, he decided to place his right hand on her shoulder in concern. She flinched at the action.

"Sorry."

He gives her look. "Why are ya sorry?"

"I-I haven't been doin' enough explain' to you, SpongeBob."

"Sandy, it's fine. You don't have to explain. Pat was angry too and-"

"-let me explain." she said, interrupting him.

He shut his mouth.

"Y'all may not realise it, but you're a puzzle piece in my life. An important one." she confessed. "You nearly d-dead, meant that I would lose a puzzle piece, and if I did then it wouldn't be complete. What I'm trying to say is that you not in my life wouldn't be good." her heart pounded at the next words she would say. "I-I need you. I need you with me; alive; breathing; smiling; laughing. SpongeBob...I need you."

SpongeBob blinked the tears that wanted to come. He feels the exact same way. He really wanted to put a brave front for Sandy when hers had began to weaken.

SpongeBob spoke gently. "Hey, Sandy. Sandy, please look at me." she did as he said. "Okay, uh...have ya ever realised that sometimes with you, I go a lil' overboard."

She sighed at that. "Do I ever?"

Inwardly, he smiles at the quirk in her mouth. "Well, when thinking 'bout that time when ya nearly left Bikini Bottom, or wanted to fight a bull worm. I just did whateva I had to do, because I need you too in my life." he confessed also. "You're a puzzle piece in my life too - an important one. I need you with me; alive; breathing; smiling; laughing. I need you, Sandy."

Throughout his explanation, somehow SpongeBob's hand had found hers. Right now, Sandy had squeezed it, signifying she accepted his words. Still...

"I feel guilty."

"Don't be."

"I owe you one."

"No you don't."

"Not even a Platinum Mermaid man and Barnacle Boy video game?"

"Not even...wait did ya just say, no! Not even that."

"I thought y'all wouldn't wake up."

"Well you thought wrong."

She gives him a 'look'. "Do ya hav'ta have an answer for everythin'?"

"Not everything."

"SpongeBob!"

He chuckled at that, slightly encouraging her to want to also. She refrained from doing so though.

"I meant what I said, SpongeBob Selfless Pant. I do need you."

When he felt his trailing tears, he let it be. "I know" he murmured, stroking her hand. "I need you too, Sandy the Solicitous Squirrel."

* * *

A/N: Finally, it's the tenth chapter. As some of you may have realised, or will realise...the title of this story has changed due to ideas and plan altered slightly. There'll be 40 chapters now! (That's a good thing right?) The first ten chapters were circulated around the ratings of K and T, but the next chapter will evolve to another rating...be ready. So, what d'ya as the reader think of this chapter? Criticism and advice is needed please.


	11. Marking My Territory

Disclaimer: I can hope, wish and dream that I own SpongeBob, but it's just wishful thinking. Stephen Hilenburg is the owner.

A/N: Another chapter! This can be seen as a continuation to chapter 6; Jealousy and Possessiveness'. The rating for this chapter is either a high T or low M. Thanks for the reviews and enjoy!

**Title:** Marking My Territory

"Whateva you say, Sandy." he replies, nonchalantly pouring himself a glass of lemonade.

I cringe at the tone of his voice and become slightly irritated at the imperceptible smirk beginning to form on his mouth. If that yellow egomaniac sponge thinks he has a chip on me, then he ain't screwed on right!

"I ain't jealous, SpongeBob!"

"I never said you were."

"Ya did!"

"No I didn't Sandy. I just said that I might've detected a note of possible jealously in you're voice."

"Well...y-you're implying it, ain't ya?"

"You think I'm implying it." he responds back confidently.

I close my mouth. A lil' afraid that I'll say somethin' childish that'll only strengthen his foolish argument. I'm not jealous, I tell myself. I know I'm not. I ain't! I'm just, just...curious. Yes, that's it. When thinkin' back to it, SpongeBob's explanation was incredibly vague about what exactly happened on April Fool's day concernin' them two females. Couldn't I as his girlfriend inquire further into it?

"I ain't jealous of Debby and Emily. I'm simple curious. It's my nature as a scientist and prerogative right as yer girlfriend." I declare. "I let it slide for a moment, but seriously, SpongeBob. What exactly did Emily and Debby do to ya on April Fool's day?"

He frantically starts lookin' around the room. "Uh, well...it was a joke, that um..." he trails off, fiddling with his thumbs. This worries me. I'm worried not jealous. WHAT did THEY do?

"Look at yerself. Not only are y'all trailin' off worser than a lost sheep, but you're blushin' redder than chili relleno sauce."

"Chili relleno sauce." he says in wonder. "What's that? How does it taste like? Is it from Texas? Is it spicy like a-" I cut him off, knowing exactly what he's doin'. That sneaky lil' sponge.

"-Nice try, but I ain't lettin' you change the subject."

He places his glass down. His eyes scrutinising me. "I don't get it. Honest to Neptune I don't. Even though you're jealous-" he stops his sentence when hearing my growl. "What I mean to say is that even if you were possibly jealous, it'd be silly to be anyway."

My eye brow quirks up at this. "What're ya sayin'?"

"Just look at my backside, Sandy."

At his unusual request, I do – wonderin' where he's goin' with this. I begin to giggle. 'Property of Sandy Cheeks' perhaps I'm possessive rather than jealous. How long has there red writing been there for?

"Y'all do know that sign's was primarily there for safety reason, right?"

"If you say so, but you've gotta admit that with this on my captain quarters, everyone knows I'm taken by you, yet people don't know you're taken by me."

With my brown eyes, I scrutinise him this time. "You're still on that!"

"I guess so." he admits, folding his arms and...is he pouting?

I rub my forehead in frustration. What will get through to this sponge?

**. . . .**

I specifically told him that suggestions had to be plausible, meaning; reasonable or plausible. I specifically forgot who I was talking to.

"And if it was blue like my eyes?"

"SpongeBob." I say with a warning tone.

He sighs. "No collar?"

"No collar."

"But what's wrong with-"

"-I'm not yer pet, SpongeBob!" I snap.

His hands go up in surrender, his eyes in shock. "I didn't mean it like that, Sandy! Please believe me! I don't think of you as pet, I mean Gray technically is my pet, but I think of him as a friend – sometimes a son."

Calming myself down, I give him a suggestion. "I'm willin' to wear a t-shirt with your face or name all over it."

"Hmm...that sounds good, but you'd have to wear it under yer space suit meaning others wouldn't see it."

I huff and puff, leaning my back to the arm rest of the couch. I close my eyes, possibly broodin' over the insecurities SpongeBob has. I'm his and he's mine, why can't he get that? Is all this necessary?

"Sandy?"

"Yes, SpongeBob?"

"I...I think I may have gotten an i-idea." he admits, staring intently at my face, or is it chin?

"'K then. Let's hear it." I demand, noticing he's sheepishly rubbing his head and reddenin' again; adorably so.

He scoots closer to me, kneeling up on the couch and placing both of his arms on my shoulder. Not pushing me down like last time, but just holding me there.

"SpongeBob, what's wrong?"

Ignoring my words, he asks, "Do you trust me?"

Despite the uncertainty of this situation, I nod my head, replying a, 'course I do!'. I trust him. It's SpongeBob after all - my best friend as well as boyfriend. I trust him with my life.

"That's good. Sandy, I remember you sayin' that...well you said I could touch you anywhere and everywhere, right?"

"Y-Yes." I stutter, thinking to myself if he's thinkin' along 'those' lines.

"Okay, so that was the truth." he speaks to himself more than me. I observe him, trying to find out what is goin' through his mind right now. I think insanity as he begins to take off his bubble helmet.

"SpongeBob, what're you doin'?!"

"You'll see...oh. I almost forgot to tell ya. Don't worry 'bout the bubble helmet Sandy. Secretly I've been testin' how long I can survive in air for, and my highest record is 7 minutes."

My eyes widen at this. Has he really lost it this time?

"SpongeB-" effectively and clichély, he cuts me off by placing his lips on mine.

This surprises me.

I won't deny we haven't had some sweet lip action with one another (not tongue unfortunately), but that was when it was snowing, raining or when the water sprinkles for the grass was on. We haven't made out on my couch, bed (not that we would...yet) where there's no water resources.

Before I can respond back, I feel his lips move elsewhere, more like travel to the side of my face until feel a peck on my neck. Involuntarily, I shiver. He's never kissed me there. When gettin' intimate with one another, SpongeBob has been more nervous than a long-tailed cat in a room of rockin' chairs. An innocent teenager in a way.

When I feel his hot breath near the shell of my ear - there ain't nuthin' innocent 'bout that.

"Sandy," he say in a low tone that is not childishly him. "I need you to relax."

Denyin' that tone of voice ain't easy.

**. . . . **

I refrain from moaning, arcing ma head up so he has better access. I want him to reach everywhere. I can't deny that his lips aren't unbelievingly soft, titillating and so dang inviting on my neck. It changes though, tentatively so as his kisses become hotter and more passionate as they focus on certain areas more.

It's beginner's luck. It has to be. SpongeBob hasn't even entered his inner vampire instincts and bitten me hard enough to draw, if he had any that is.

The worlds of this on-going experience aligned themselves in my mind. It goes like this; pleasurable, primitive, passionate, and, and...I shiver again, forgetting the fourth adjective.

Dangnabbit! That's a sensitive part.

I let out a purr I didn't want to, but I'm in no possession of my body at this moment. I think he's doin' his actions as a pattern, maybe drawing a picture on my neck with his lips. SpongeBob first presses a kiss gently, then his moist tongue licks that spot before he begins nibbling. The nibbling is not the tortuous part, it's the sucking. Oh, dear Neptune. Curse that sponge 'cause he's...h-he's...he's turning me on! Can't he hear ma breathin' abnormal levels, or my surely reddened cheeks or my eyes with are glazed over in pleasure.

Good thing he can't see my imagination - it's running a lil' wild, thanks to him.

I bite another moan that threatens to come out. I doubt SpongeBob realises this, but that's okay...I rather have him focus on this task of his. It's important after all to finish what ya started.

I bite another moan that threatens to come out, but when his mouth circles a figure of eight, I can't help myself. "O-Oh...B-Bob..."

He hears my husky voice and stop his ministrations."Oh! You alright Sandy? Did I-"

"-Why'd ya stop."

"Huh?"

"Y'all said 7 minutes."

He tilts his head in confusion. "What d'you mean?"

How the heck can he not understand? "Bob, I mean SpongeBob...finish what ya started." I explain. "Preferably now." I command.

**. . . .**

I swear...time has always held a grudge against me and SpongeBob.

When he stops, I'm startin' to pray to Neptune that SpongeBob develops an affinity to air. He puts back his water-filled bubble helmet, panting inside it. I know he's the one who did the most work, yet I find myself more breathless. How does that work?

"H-How'd you find that?"

"Hold yer horses there...I'm try'na find ma breath first."

He chuckles, probably entertained by my blushin'. He's always loved that for some reason.

"I wasn't expecting that, y'know. You've never kissed me on ma neck before, so it was a surprise to me. A pleasant surprise." I ask him a burnin' question. "Where'd you learn to kiss like that? You seemed to know what you were doin'."

"About that...well uh, that film we watched a while back is a lil' educational in some aspects."

I blink at him in disbelief. "You didn't."

He nods his head bashfully.

I feel like doubling over. Being a lover of learning, this lil' sponge actually took notes, since data literally absorbs into him easily.

"So, can you feel the love bites forming?"

"Love bites? What're ya...Love bites!" I exclaim, self-consciously touching my neck on either side. Of course, the sucking, nibbling and biting makes sense.

"So y'all were givin' me a bunch of Hickeys?

"Hickeys? I thought I gave you love bites."

I sigh at him. "You did. Hickey is another word enhancer." I reply, noticing he's mesmerised by the new word. Tracing my neck again, I note that the emergence of Hickeys will be more pronounced in five to ten minutes. "Hmm, it seems like you've created a pattern here."

"Yup! My initials." he replies with a grin.

I raise a brow at his words; 'Marking His Territory'. My mouthopens for a retort. What he's done is down right primitive. He's done it to mark me, to make me his so anyone who sees will understand I'm taken. As sneaky as it was...I won't lie that his possessiveness ain't interestin' (we'll hav'ta sort that out), plus I can't deny that his love bites weren't hot (which we'll hav'ta continue anuther day).

**. . . .**

"Since you're not jealous. I can tell ya that that I promised 'em I'd help with their fashion sleepover."

"What kind of sleepover?" I inquire, folding my arms in curiosity, not jealously.

"Hmm...I think Debby and Emily said swimsuits."

Swimsuit?

"I've got good taste in knowing what fits, they said. Also the other is called Lingery, Lingory...Oh yeah, lingerie."

Lingerie. Lingerie! He did not just say that word, did he? He did not just say that word and not understand what it means, did he?

The blood in ma face may have possibly drained out. SpongeBob, my sweet, selfless, naïve boyfriend couldn't see it. Couldn't understand that...No way is he goin'!

"I'll be back tomorrow." he says, cheekily giving me an air kiss. I think of the time limit of 7 minutes once more, stroking my neck. I look at his neck, his yellow, spongy neck. "See ya San-" I pounce on him, which cuts off his sentence.

If one thing's for sure, he's startled on the couch since I pulled off his bubble helmet. Plus, I am straddlin' him after all. He tries to speak, but that's futile regarding what I'm about to do, or should I say doin'. "S-Sandy, what're ya...Oh...Oh my...d-dear Neptune. S-San...San please..."

I chuckle at the his stuttered words that ain't coherent. I notice him painfully struggling to keep his hands to himself. Hmm...I didn't know I could get him to respond like that. I mentally note that for later use.

"Sandy." he manages to moan out in distorted pleasure and seriousness. I take interest in his flushed freckles cheeks and his darkening blue eyes. I wonder to myself if that's how I sounded and looked like minutes ago. Moving on, I understand the question he wants to ask, and I'm glad he's askin' it. It should be obvious though.

I whisper lecherously, "Markin'," I place another kiss higher, my tongue teasin'. "my," I murmur, nibbling on a sensitive part. The low tone voice is back. "territory."

* * *

A/N: The 1st, but not last M-rated chapter. I also researched that animals mark their territories a lot. So, what did you as the reader think of this chapter? Criticism and advice is really needed please.


	12. Sex

Disclaimer: I can hope, wish and dream that I own SpongeBob, but it's just wishful thinking. Stephen Hilenburg is the owner.

A/N: Another chapter which is rated M due to what they're talking about. BTW, thank you readers for the reviews.

**Title:** Sex

Sitting comfortably on his sofa, Sandy channel-surfed his television – on a mission to find something entertaining or fascinating for the both of them to watch. Even though she still had yet to find something plausible, the remote control had stopped working – leading the television screen to play whatever channel Sandy had last pressed.

The season finale of 'Passionate Souls', a widely liked Bikini Bottomite romance drama was starting near the middle-end. Sandy had groaned at this, desperately wanting to switch the TV off, however the sponge denied her request. To be told, SpongeBob had cheered – happy to know that he was in the social loop to discover what made this romance drama so popular.

Without a doubt, one could proclaim that SpongeBob had discovered why the show was infamously 'fascinating'.

Story short, two lovers had only one night to embrace one another before they would have to go their separate ways in different cities. Sandy yawned at this, thinking to herself that the directors had followed a cliché ending, but SpongeBob was tearing up and exclaiming loudly to Neptune that it wasn't fair. However the sponge wasn't tearing when things heated up.

The brown-haired male protagonist pushed his lover onto the bed with urgency. He clambered over her, pinning her arms down and exposing to the audience how much he had wanted her, no, desired her. With curiosity or interest, the sponge and squirrel both watched how the female lover began to moan and pant (ridiculously loudly) as the protagonist placed kisses all over her neck, until he claimed her lips.

Sandy swore she heard her gasp from SpongeBob, but she ignored that thought. She herself watched the scene with no incredible interest as she previously had her opinions that this shows too unrealistic and ridiculously romantic. She had argued with Pearl a month ago that no one could find no absolute faults in a lover. It just wasn't possible. Mary Sues and Stu's didn't exist in the real world.

Growing tired, she glanced an eye at the sponge, noticing his ever fidgeting finger and a growing blush on his freckled cheeks. Looking back at the TV to induce why, she understood immediately why he was becoming redder than chili relleno sauce. Even she couldn't help but feel uncomfortable as the actors and actresses rapidly clothes came off at such a speed, which could only indicate what was to come next.

_'Seriously, what age is this lil' erotic show for? They're not gonna really have...Oh no, if they're really gonna go all the way, then SpongeBob can't handle that!' _she worried in her head, glancing his facial expression again.

She was concerned for his innocence, nevertheless, she couldn't help but want to laugh at his predicament. He was in his twenties after all, he should've kind of understood where the two characters were heading.

"I NEED YOU NOW!"

At the actresses tone of voice, SpongeBob's blue eyes had widened six times wider than Patrick's waist. Never had he heard in his life someone so, so...so desperate.

As the female lover began to act like a women possessed, Sandy decided enough was enough.

Quickly, the brown-furred squirrel rushed in front of the television and switched it off manually. The last sight the sponge saw was a bra being tossed, and the last he had heard was a baritone groan of frustration.

What the heck did he just watch?

**. . . .**

He coughed twice. "That was...that was very, um. I didn't know that," trailed off SpongeBob.

"Sorry, I should've been quicker."

"No, it's okay. They were just taking off their clothes...they were gonna have, well I'm assuming that..." trailed off the sponge again, casting his head down.

Sandy looked at him in slight concern. "SpongeBob, why're ya lookin' so glum? I mean, I know you're embarrassed an' such but." stopping her words, the squirrel caught on to something. Something important. "Please tell me y'all did know what they were gonna do?"

SpongeBob averted his eyes elsewhere.

This time, Sandy's eye's were the one the widened wider than Patrick's waist. "SpongeBob. Do ya or do ya not know what was goin' on in that scene?"

"I do." he answered meekly, which didn't satisfy Sandy at all. Regarding his childlike behaviour, the squirrel had always thought that with mature situations in relationships, the sponge would be clueless.

"Y'all don't know what sex is, don't cha?"

He flinched at the s-word. The blush on his cheeks grew darker.

"I-I do too know what s-s...that word is."

Sandy's voice became gentle. "Ya don't have to pretend with me, SpongeBob."

"I-I'm not pretending. I do too know what 'it' is."

She refrained from sighing. "Well if y'all know what 'it' is as ya claim, then why in sam's heck can't ya say the word?"

"Because, b-beause, y'know it's not a word you say out in the open."

She arched a brow. "SpongeBob...We're in yer house, not Downtown Bikini Bottom."

"Still!"

"Oh, brother!" she sighed out, massaging her forehead.

Sandy thought that she could easily forsake this discussion and move onto something else, but he was her friend of five to eight something years. Her mind reminded her (more liked instructed) that she did kind of have a duty as a friend to help him get over his issues. Her leaving, squirrel jokes and competition were one, now sex was a new one.

**. . . .**

Before she could talk, he took the lead and rambled on.

"I-I found out about it in high school from Patrick, but got told about it properly from my Dad, Mr. Krabs, the Mailman even Squidward when he drank too much of that red drink." he laughed from memory. "Boy, that was the funniest night ever! It's a shame Squidward got such a big headache in the morning."

Casting away the worry if SpongeBob knew what Squidward drank, she asked. "So if you're educated enough from a lot of people to know what 'it' is then why're yer feathers ruffled when seeing that show."

"Uh, well I guess it's 'cause seeing like that is." he bit his lip. "Sandy I've got a confession to make."

"'OK then, y'all can tell me."

"I know what 'it' is and how people do 'it', but I've always wondered if there was another reason why people did 'it'."

She folded her arms. "SpongeBob, ya hav'ta clarify to me what 'it' is."

"Please don't make me say it."

"You have to." she urged.

"Barnacles...s-sex. There I said it!" he raised his arms in the air. "I've always wondered if there was another reason as to why people do have sex."

"Is that all?"

He flushed in embarrassment. "Pretty much."

**. . . .**

"...so if sex is something you do with the special people in your life, then can friends could do it too?"

Sandy really didn't want to answer this question.

"If they so wanted to, then I can't see why not, BUT...like I said, sex can be for: reproduction, romance and pleasure. Problem is that one friend could think it was romantic and want to be more than friends, but the other just might think it's just for fun."

"What's wrong with having fun?"

"Nothing's wrong with fun, unless fun is harmful or confusing for one person."

"Ah, I get it. I guess it wouldn't be a good idea for us to have sex, would it Sandy?"

"Well I guess...woah, SpongeBob. Hold up a minute!" she asked in genuine surprise. "Did ya just imply...were ya suggestin-"

"-No!" realising how bad the sounded, he said. "Yes, no!" realising how confused she looked, he said. "P-Please give me a minute to arrange my thoughts...I didn't mean it like that, it was just a thought, honest to Neptune Sandy, just a thought!"

She relaxed slightly at his words.

"It's funny ain't it. I mean we're such good friends, so we'd never have s-sex with each other, plus were different species, right?" he reasoned.

"Heh, heh. Can you imagine it? Me and you on a bed, touching each other, kissing...moaning, panting, unbeknownst to him, SpongeBob drooled. "my red tie off, you're purple skirt off and green..."

As Sandy witnessed his blue eyes gazing over in anything but innocence, she reddened, already presupposing his wild imagination.

"SpongeBob, snap out of it!" she cried, snapping her fingers in front of him "D-don't, y'all dare start undressin' me and yerself in yer mind!"

He mumbled naughty gibberish and Sandy knew she was losing him fast.

She shook him, on all fours, on top of him. Gripping his shirt, she shook him like a rag doll, until he came back to earth or the sea. "Stop. The. Fantasy. This is awkward enough. SpongeBob!

**. . . .**

Two weeks later at 01:00 AM.

Groggily so, Sandy got out of bed, slipped on her slippers and walked over to the ringing phone. _'I swear I'll wring this varmit's neck out dry in daylight. Who in sam's heck would call me at...'_ she nearly cursed when figuring out who. _'SpongeBob.'_

Placing the phone next to her ear, she said. "Good mornin', SpongeBob. What in Neptune's name did I do to hurt you?"

"Huh, how did you know it was me?"

"...I'm physic. So why did ya call me?"

"Oh yeah, about that. I just have a teeny weeny question to ask ya." he answered. "It's really really small, and actually...maybe I don't hav'ta tell you. You know what, you can have a nice rest and-

"-SpongeBob, get to the point, or I'm comin' over." she threatened which lead him to gulp. He knew this was a bad idea.

"NO! Do not come over, I repeat. Do not come over, everything is under control here."

Something told her that things were definitely not under control.

"Dreams are not bad things, right?"

"Yes, lil' square dude. Dreams are good things, unless it's a nightmare."

"OK then, so if a dream was very, um, very mature in nature. Wouldn't that be very bad?"

She slightly understood where he was going with things. "SpongeBob, you're an adult now. If ya had dreams that were sexual in nature, then there ain't a thing to worry over. It happens to everyone."

"B-But what if...what if you were in the dream? Would ya be mad at me?"

"Of course I wouldn't be mad at you...SpongeBob. Repeat what ya said please."

"Uh, let's say hypothetically I'm having mature dreams where you, uh, are sometimes," which was actually all the time. "in it, with me."

The phone in her hand shook. "O-okay, let's pause for a moment. If you're the protagonist in you're 'dreams', then who am I?"

She heard a squeak, but that wasn't what she wanted to hear. "You're not answerin'!"

"The actresses?" he muttered.

She felt herself go warm and blushed. She understood exactly what he was dreaming about, and the very fact and idea that SpongeBob; naive, innocent and clueless SpongeBob was fantasizing her and him doing something they shouldn't be left her breathless.

"Answer me this. When ya have these dreams 'bout me, d'ya sometimes wake up with yer bed a lil' not so dry?" she questioned as calmly as she could. Deep down inside, Sandy was panicking.

Both of them held their breath for as long as they could. The silence from either line seemed to last for eternity. Sandy didn't dare ask the question again and SpongeBob had yet to answer.

A phone dropped.

"HOW'D SHE KNOW THAT?" SpongeBob exclaimed, looking below his bed. "Gary, you promised you wouldn't tell anyone!"

* * *

A/N: Not what you thought it was, was it? This is the second but not last M-rated chapter. So, what did you as the reader think of this chapter? Criticism and advice is really needed please.


	13. T&NTIS

Disclaimer: I can hope, wish and dream that I own SpongeBob, but it's just wishful thinking. Stephen Hilenburg is the owner.

**Me to you:**

Mature SpongeBob SquarePants episodes? LOL, you crack me up LorellaLorella. I'm happy to hear that you keep up with this fanfic of mine, I'll try my best do keep up the good work, Wolfmoon5. I'm glad to know that you love this fanfic so much DarkButterfly128, BTW thanks for the advice – I'll definitely keep the blindfold and dreams at the front of my mind. I'm overjoyed for you that you liked the ending Night-Waker, but I can't say the same for Sandy Cheeks – she's in a little shock.

* * *

Title:******T**hinking ******& ********N**oticing ******T**hings ******I ********S**houldn't

Perhaps I should avert my eyes elsewhere, but I can't help it! I can't help but look. I would have never (EVER!) done this years ago when I met her, but now, well since...my 'curiosity' in things has grown (as Mr. Krabs says), I can't help but notice the green panties she's wearing as she bends down to gather her acorns. Barnacles! Why is that purple skirt of hers so short?

Maybe I've wondered once if those innocent blue eyes of his could be anythin' but that. Maybe I've gone cuckoo, or maybe the fish food I eat has really done it this time. What am I thinkin'? It's SpongeBob, SpongeBob SquarePants! How can I possibly imagine his blue eyes a dark shade of blue like teal – representing desire and lust.

I really really don't like the way Sandy folds her arms sometimes, because it raises her, her...it raise 'those' higher than it should be and it makes me (her "best", "loyal" friend) pay attention to 'them' when I should really focus on her face.

A week ago, me and the lil' square dude a rather mighty sparring session if I do say so myself. Congrats went to him as he'd managed to pin me down, and I guess it looked like he'd finally gained some muscle in those skinny arms of his. Being pinned down gave me a lot to think if he could pin me down again...in a different situation...an intimate one...a highly sexual one. I know it's just a thought, but I do wonder if he'd have the upper hand again in that scenario, 'cause it'd be unlikely that he'd get it so easily.

Fish paste! Sandy stretching her arms is far worse than her folding them cause at last when she fold them, 'they' don't...they don't jiggle. Because 'they' don't jiggle - 'they' don't move, and 'they' really shouldn't move 'cause it's distracting. It's distracting me.

He has kissable lips. When I'm noticin' that now. When he pouts, his jutted lips do look like the kind of lips you'd want to experiment with. Anyway, it's not like I want to kiss 'em, 'cause even if I did I couldn't due to that dang bubble helmet in the way...it doesn't matter that he can survive in air for a minute. It doesn't.

At times I wonder if he's as innocent as a new born babe. SpongeBob has the ability to turn someone on, but I'm not sure he knows it. I bet all my Science awards that he ain't got a clue. He has no hint that the way he assaults those big lollipops is illegal where I'm from and quite fascinatin' to look at. There ain't no need to lick so slow and moan so dang loud. He should be moanin' and lickin' like that when he's with someone special, in the throes of...of...hmm, is SpongeBob really as innocent as new born babe to not know what sex is?

When she moans my name while I relax her shoulders, I instantly remove my hands off her and take a deep breath. Even though I try to smile reassuringly at her, the sound of her voice is forever recorded in my mind and continues to play at night while I dream.

By once I mean once. Just once have I wondered if SpongeBob could talk dirty. Not dirty as in trash talk, but dirty as in sexy dirty – the naughty kind. I have yet to research and find out if he can, but if he can then I'll never look at him the same way again. I mean, the lil' square dude has the ability to change in voice in different pitches and tones. If he says what he says in a deep, masculine, baritone voice then I'll definitely won't think the same way about him again.

After eight years. After eight stupid naïve years do I realise that Sandy is practically running around her tree dome in nothing but her underwear and a skirt (that's short!). She's not that young cute gal that saved me from a clam no more. Even I can admit that my friend is a woman whose clothes (if I can call it that) leave no room for my imagination (I can't create the rainbow any more). If my 'thing' for her doesn't go away, then I'll have to smoothly tell her to wear trousers and a jumper.

One day, one surprising day, SpongeBob boldly told me that he had talented hands. I laughed at that and teased that it was true 'cause he was a fry cook after all. Yet that very night when I was home taking care of...well, when I was touching myself to fulfil some primitive needs, his bold words entered my head and it shocked me (and STILL does) that I came so much more quicker than normal...no one will dare to tell him the tale that the thought of his hands are enough for me. The varmit who does dare squeal such a thing will open their eyes seein' gates or fire.

Sandy is an independent kind of girl/woman. She's strong, fierce and vivacious. There ain't nothin' to big or too ornery for her to catch or beat. So if I know all theses facts, then why do I sometimes picture her dependant, weak and shy. Why in my dreams do I see her below me, panting, blushing and begging. She's begging for me and she's pleading breathlessly for me to touch and kiss. She'd kill me if she found out, but why do I like such a side to her?

I guess it's no wonder that the day SpongeBob told me that he had a talented tongued was the day I nearly pulled that dang bubble helmet off and analysed that claim of his.

If I could breathe air, and not need my bubble helmet - then I could kiss her. Not that I would (cause she'd kill me), and not that I should (because she'd kill me!).

It all his stupid fault. Ever since that day we watched that stupid show called 'Passionate Souls', I've been thinkin' 'bout it myself. Sex, that what I've been thinkin' about. I've thought of 'bout him and me doing it and 'cause that's the genre of dreams he's been having lately – I'm doin' no wrongs. No wonder we haven't talked in days since the phone call. He's sexually attracted to me and can't bear to look and me and he doesn't know that the reason I can't bear to look at him is 'cause I've found myself curiously and stupidly attracted to him to.

It comes like a tidal wave dragging me into the deep end where I normally drown with Patrick, if Larry isn't there to help us. It's a rude awakening to me that we're both, not only me but here too. We're both thinking and noticing things we really shouldn't as friends. She's told me her dreams and I've told her mine and we're now both fidgeting with our fingers unable to look each other in the eyes. My excuse is that hers are a beautiful brown and hers is that mine are a boisterous blue.

It scares me that we actually could do it. He's a sponge, a sea sponge! When concernin' his soft pliable body which is excellent for shape-shifting and forming bodily parts then everything becomes possible. All I'd have to do is easily show him a picture of a male squirrel's sexual organ, and then SpongeBob could easily form one and then, then we'd...we could...Dangnabbit! Curse that stupid sponge, look what he's done to me.

I don't know what we'll do. Is this the end of our friendship? Are these sexual dreams we both have gonna banish everything we've had for years, because I don't want that to happen. I look at her face and ask a question to avoid fantasising on how soft her fur is.

"Sandy, didn't ya say a while ago that sex could be for just for pleasure too?"

* * *

A/N: I hope you readers were able to uncover who was who. So, what did you think of this chapter? Criticism and advice is welcomed here.

EXTRA INFO: Since I'm still a SpongeBob fan after all this time, I just wanted to let you readers know that this Sunday, it'll be SpongeBob SquarePants Birthday (I'm assuming he'll be 26, 27 or 28 years old). On that day, hopefully there'll be a nice, detailed updated chapter of his birthday present gifted to him by his "lovely" brown-furred friend XD keep that in mind.


	14. Unwrapping this gift

Disclaimer: I can hope, wish and dream that I own SpongeBob, but it's just wishful thinking. Stephen Hilenburg is the owner.

**Me to readers:** Better one day late then never, right?

**Title:** Unwrapping this gift

* * *

"Jumping Jellyfish! Sandy...w-why are you dressed like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like that! You practically look like a gift."

"I am the gift."

"But you're a person, my girlfriend, accidental wife first. You're not an object."

"I meant my body."

"You know very well that I'm attracted you, Ms. Cheeks."

"Attracted how?"

"Well, uh, it's definitely not platonic. We've been dating for three years and even I can say that we're quite...please don't squirm like that."

"Huh?"

"For all that is good in a krabby patty, please do not wiggle your body like that, Sandy."

"Why stop? Y'all seem to be enjoying the show, since yer face is about as red as chilli relleno sauce, you're droolin', plus yer pants are becoming very-"

"Sandy!"

"No need to bristle yer feathers. I'm just stating facts you ain't got the courage to point out. I think you're sexually attracted to me."

"...You've gotta be kidding me? You're whole body is tightly wrapped in nothing but ribbons! Ribbons! I can clearly see that body of yours..Oh dear Neptune. You are wearing something underneath, right?"

"I think we both know the answer to that."

"Sandy-"

"It's you're birthday."

"EXACTLY! It'll kill me for you to force yourself to do something you don't really want to for the sake of my birthday."

"Force? This ain't nuthin' to do about force. It's all free-will, partner."

"B-b-but, this is too much. This g-gift, you as the gift is too good to be true. Sandy you're spoiling me!"

"'Cause I wanna."

"You can't be serious!"

"Oh for crying out loud, SpongeBob. It's. You're. Birthday! Instead of being a SquarePants or Selfless Pants, you can be Selfish Pants today."

"I-I-I can't do that to you. It wouldn't be right."

"Fine. You're as right as rain, it'd be really bad of you to unwrap this gift. I mean, it's not like you're eager to touch this gift."

"Huh? I never said-"

"I bet y'all don't wanna kiss this gift."

"Sandy, I never said I didn't wanna kiss y-"

"I'm also speculating that ya don't even play with this gift."

"You're putting words in my mouth that I never-"

"Sucks to be you, this gift is very vocal."

"S-sand-dy-"

"Since I can't exactly return myself, you might as well send me off to someone else. Ain't Squidward's birthday comin' up soon?"

"That's not funny, Sandy. Not one bit."

"I thought it was. I mean yer voice is turning mighty possessive right now."

"That's because you're suggesting I give my wrapped gift away to someone else."

"Wait a minute there. I'm you're gift?"

"Yes. Yes you are."

"Then, aren't ya suppposed to unwrap you're gifts?"

**. . . .**

"Oh, man. That was the best...birthday...gift...ever!"

"Is that so? Took you long enough to figure that out. Lemme tell ya birthday-boy, all along, there was a bow at the back of me."

"Oh, there was?"

"Uh-huh. Therefore y'all didn't have to transform into a were-wolf rip it off with yer teeth."

"S-sorry about that, I truly am. As pretty as the ribbons were, they were so annoying. I just really wanted to get it off."

"I could see that. Guess I'll have to wear looser ribbons or nothing at all after you're birthday party tonight."

"..."

"SpongeBob? Oh brother, you're crying faster than a broken-hearted fifteen-year old girl."

* * *

A/N: Please comment, advice or criticize on what you thought of this chapter.


	15. Voyeurism

Disclaimer: I can hope, wish and dream that I own SpongeBob, but it's just wishful thinking. Stephen Hilenburg is the owner.

A/N: Just wanna say that I truly do appreciate the hits and reviews this M-rated fanfic has gotten. I reckon that many of you Spandy (or not) readers out there will acknowledge this chapter as a naughty due to the title. Enjoy it!

**Title:** Voyeurism

I've thoroughly searched the outer tree-dome, inspected the kitchen, investigated the living room, examined her bedroom, but she's nowhere to be found. Curses! Has she turned invisible (I hope not, cause that'd be an unfair advantage)? I've hunted high and low for her – leaving no stones unturned (all 150 of them), yet I still can't find Sandy in her own home. Either I'm beginning to lose my touch, or Sandy is as silent as the air she breathes...it's definitely the latter – she is my Kare-a-tay sensei after all - meaning that she's got years of experience on me, but I swear that I'll surpass her one day!

"I won't let my guard down now." is what I said myself. "Somewhere, somehow, she's lurking around at this very moment. I bet my Mermaidman & Barnacleboy trading cards that she's patiently waiting for the chance to pounce on me and defeat me. At all costs, I mustn't give her that chance!"

I tucked and rolled, finally reaching her wide beige-coloured hallways. At first I thought the coast was clear, but that doesn't seem to be the case. I heard noise. Noise like chimes, no. Singing. Sirenic singing.

The (enthralling) noise I heard came off a door, so I stood right next to it, pressing my ear near the door knob. Interesting, I thought. It seemed like there's another noise accompanied with the singing - making it sound polyphonic. What my ears picked up was a dripping noise - a fast dripping noise – dripping liquid or water is probably it.

Ohhh, I got it!

She's in the bathroom taking a shower (duh!). Now I guess there's no point charging in like a flock of buzzin' jellyfish since it's not fair that Sandy's not prepared to fight, and she's doing her shower which means she's naked. N.U.D.E! If I value my life, then I wouldn't (SHOULDN'T!) go in there. So cause Sandy surely knows I wouldn't enter bathroom when she's having a shower, then...wait a minute, wait a minute!

This is all a plan. A real sneaky plan by none other than Ms. Cheeks.

Man, she's good!

It's all started to make perfect sense. Sandy thinks I won't attack because she thinks that I think that she's having a 'shower', when really she's just pretending to have one so she can attack me when my guard's down. Well, she's in for a surprise.

I turned the door knob, and opened the door quietly and widely. Once I took a look inside, I knew I was done for. It turned out that Sandy was actually taking a shower. I could tell because of the steam floating in her bathroom and the shadowy form of her body from the shower curtain which was her-

Oh my.

As soon as I saw that feminine silhouette which was my Texan friend's, my Kare-a-tay gloves shielded my big blue eyes from it. I should close the door and leave right now which is what one part of my mind says, but the other part is interested. It's true that I've never seen a girl's, well, a girl's womanly parts, but this is SANDY! Even if I think she's the prettiest squirrel in Bikini Bottom (and the whole sea), I can't possibly let my curiosity take the best of me. Oh, what to do, what to do...this is a problem. There's only one way to solve it, but it requires me to...I'll have to. Just one peep can't hurt, right? All I have to do is take one little look to satisfy my curiosity and then I'll never ever wonder again.

Okay then, it's settled. Here I go.

Slowly, I managed to pry my gloved hands away from my eyes to take a glimpse, however a glimpse turned into a glance and then a glance turned into a whole other thing. As my eyes fixed themselves on that shapely silhouette of Sandy, I swallowed and felt this unbearable heat on my face.

The grey-coloured curtain of ablution is pulled away revealing a tra-tra-transparent one.

"..."

I can't...this is...this is just...it's...Gosh, it's captivating! I've never been so...Sandy taking a shower is captivating me, entrancing me, or enthralling me just like her voice did, but the thing is that I can't see her voice like I can see her physique.

Swallowing once more, I concur that it's the sight of it all. This spectacular show that made me stay right where I am (secretly crouched behind a door).

As Sandy, Sandy the Squirrel extended her head back to allow the water to cascade down her body, I knew then and there that that view would never be erased from my head (I'll probably have vivid dreams of it tonight). I can almost describe like a waterfall, but some water gets trapped during it's way down her body, while the others to her fur - darkening it and flattening it, and boy does it flatten it. Now her wet, wet fur is hugging so closely to her body to secretly reveal her true body shape...I don't know why, but in my mouth a lot of saliva is gathered together.

I briefly remembered something. Sandy has said so herself that my eyesight is rather good, but that didn't stop me as I crawled a little inside into her bathroom. I nearly called, 'Jumping Jellyfish!', but I had more self-control than that (OK, so maybe I murmured it). Her body has grown up a lot compared to mine (although I'm much more handsome, I'm still on the short side), it's grown up a lot, or maybe I've never noticed cause of her spacesuit, or maybe I've just never realised...oh, I hope it's not the second idea.

I guess my friend isn't the same gal she was when she clobbered that clam. She's an adult now and of course it makes sense that -

"...!"

I choked. I chocked on whatever liquid was in my mouth due to what I was seeing next.

The way in which Sandy applied the soap in her hands onto her body made my heart thump so loud to the point I thought that she'd heard (I'd be dead if she did). Her actions were ridculously slow and so, so bewitching as her furred hands glided along her shapely sides. I finally got the chance to claim that her body was slender. Sandy had a (nice) slender body shape. I'd be lying if I didn't think it was...was appealing? Nah, that's not the word. Attractive is definetly the word.

She's slender with curves and I can tell by the way she rubs down that firm der...Don't you dare say it, SpongeBob! Don't even think it, just go back to your point, back to my point...what was my point again? Oh yeah, her body wasn't like a mermaid's, but that didn't mean it wasn't so gorgeous in it's right, otherwise I wouldn't have drooled a second ago. Drool? I drooled?

Oh, tartar sauce. I can't deny it any more. I did drool, and I'm still drooling. There's just something about seeing Sandy's small waist, slim hips and slim legs, strong thighs and, and...did I mention her legs? I must've cause gosh, their just, just...I really need to stop now and start breathing. I've realised that the more I stare then the more breathless I get. I've got my bubble helmet on, and I still can't breathe!

As long as I don't stare at her chest then I'll be-...oh, get a grip, SquarePants!

Why, why, why when she's dripping wet, naked, hot, gorgeous and so se-...Was I going to say t-that word? Why am I thinking that word? How do I even know that word?

Okay, calm down, SquarePants. Just try to calm down. Right now I need to escape outta of this, cause Sandy could easily stop her shower and -

Jumping Jellyfish! She stopped. She stopped her shower!

Uh-oh. I've gotta skeddadle right now and forget this whole episode.

**. . . . **

I'm ashamed to say it. I'm ashamed to admit it. Oh, who am I kidding? I SpongeBob SquarePants am ashamed to believe that despite being ashamed, I'm STILL doing it. Sighing while being crouched below the door, I took a peek in. It's the third time I'm here. Third! It wasn't intentional at first, but the second was because I was still curious, and the third was because, well it's because...oh, fish paste! It's gone beyond curiosity now. She'll kill me if she finds out. What I'm doing (have been doing) is bad with capital B!

I bet I've broken the scale of total badness. I'm not just doing something bad or really bad – I'm doing something down-right baddy bad. What would my parent think? What would Mr. Krabs think? What would Patrick think? What would Squidward think? What would the Royal Neptunian Family think?

Back to the bad (BAD!) actions I've committed. Perhaps this could be blamed on the hormones thingamabobs I learnt in high-school. I remember the nurse explaining that it takes something really attractive to get you're body "jumpin'", but...why'd it have to be Sandy? She's my friend – one of my best friends – one of my great friends with such a nice body, uh. Did I just say that?

Okay, I've made my decision. I'll stop spy-I mean watching Sandy take a shower now. Right now, I'll stop it completely. My eyes shit tight to follow through with my idea, but a second later - they opened again. When I tried to close the door, my arm slapped the other from doing so. Ah, shrimps!

My body won't listen since my fingers keep twitching. Only Neptune knows how much I want to touch her...TOUCH HER? Oh, I need help.

What am I gonna do now? If I can't stop this real bad interest (HOBBY) of mine, then Sandy'll find out one day and, and...huh? I can't hear the water any more. She stopped her shower, why? Some thing's up. Sandy always takes her showers for precisely five minutes and twenty-five or twenty-seven seconds, so why is it shorter now?

I take a peek in and realise she's not there. I've always managed to escape before she finished.

"I don't get it. She never hasn't had a shower like this w-w-"

I passed out.

My words were left spluttered and unfinished. Some tight rope wrapped itself around my torso – squeezing all the life outta me. All I remembered was falling to the ground with my bubble helmet cracked and leaking (Oh no! I'll dehydrate!). I heard a gasp of pure disbelief, and everything turned black from then on out.

**. . . .**

"How long are ya gonna take, sleeping beauty?" is what I heard when waking up in new surroundings. It's looks familiar.

I replied, "I'm awake now, but who said that?"

"Who'd ya think?" said a voice in a similar Southern drawl to someone I closely know.

"Sandy, is that you?" I truly think it is, cause the voices are like twins.

"The only and only. How're ya feelin', SpongeBob?" asked Sandy in concern, at least I think it's concern cause I think I might have heard a harsh tone somewhere.

"Um, I dunno." I said, blinking my eyes to understand where I was. It looked like a bathroom...was I in a bathtub? "I'm sitting in this..bathtub? My head hurts, and I feel like a spoiled Krabby patty"

Sandy's eyes go really big in sympathy and browner than normal. "Aw, you poor thing. I'd like to apologise for yer pain, but I'm wholly responsible."

Huh? What is Sandy on about?

"I don't get it, Sandy. What's going on? Why would you-" Oh, I got it now. "Ohhh, methinks I understand. We're playing a game. What's it called? Is it fun?"

For a long, long moment, Sandy didn't say a word. Suddenly though, she laughed out a laughed which seemed rather dark. Something is wrong.

She started to talk. "It ain't really a game - more like payback, but I guess it could be called a show. Only for me."

"A show?"

"Uh-huh." she states in a real ambiguous way. What is going on? "You've had you're turn, now it's mine."

Yup, something is wrong.

"Sandy," I said gently. "What is going on?"

Instead of words as an answer, all I got was that dark laugh of hers. It's much darker than the last time – it was so dark that my toes curled up in fright.

"It's like I said, SpongeBob. We're gonna have a lil' show – a voyeuristic type of show where the voyeur which is was you by the way gets to be the star of attention," she answers seriously. "or humiliated, either one works."

I gulped when Sandy said the word humiliated. Why humilation? How have I hurt her? I must've done something bad, something really bad, something so bad that the badness scale tipped...UH-OH, UH-OH. She knows. SHE knows. She KNOWS! I'm dead. I am dead. I am going to die. She's gonna kill me, and I actually deserve it this time. No wonder I'm tied down like this and I have no bubble helmet. I guess this is the end of the line for me. Never thought I'd say it now, but goodbye world and all who inhabit it – I'll miss you.

"Took ya long, but I can see that y'all know what's goin' on."

With my head hung down low, I decided that an apology was in order."Sandy, look I-"

"Don't wanna hear it," she interrupted with her hand raised (which could kill me in a single strike). "Where I'm from, we call fellas like you Peeping Tom's."

"Peeping Tom's?" I asked, genuinely unsure of the word.

"Ya heard right. Peeping Tom's tend to be sorry-good-for-nothing male weirdos who like spy on women during their private moments." explained my friend. "They ain't the best of folk. I'm just hurt, angry and truly surprised that ma friend is one of their members."

At this moment, I can honestly say that Sandy's words punched me more harder than anything ever has in this world. I've really let her down. Way to go SpongeBob StupidPants. Look what curiosity has done to you.

"Oh, please forgive me, Sandy." I beg. "I didn't intentionally mean to peep on you frequently."

"Really?" questioned Sandy which a hint of scepticism.

"Well, at first I was really curious cause I've seen a girl's, well a woman's body," I took at look at her face and realised that my poor excuse would get me killed very, very soon. "honest to Neptune, but then there were other reason that I'm too ashamed to tell you cause I don't understand them completely myself." I elaborated. Still, the frown was on her face and I wished I could see any other emotion on her face apart from betrayal. Gosh, it hurt to see that.

I continued speaking, desperately hoping I could make right my wrong.

"Please don't take this the wrong way, Sandy, but I'm an art lover. Looking at you're body, well...I-I don't think I'm the only male in Bikini Bottom who'd think that it's a great masterpiece." is what I confessed shyly. My next words might kill me, but Sandy needed to know that her body was wonderful. "I still find it strange that I never noticed before when you were just in you're purple skirt outift, but you being wet was a whole other experience. Gosh, you have no idea how I ached to-"

When she gasped, I stopped talking and looked at her face. It was then and there that I knew for certain that I was not seeing things. Sandy Cheeks is blushing. Did I do that to her?

"Didn't ya Mama teach ya some manners?" vociferated Sandy. I'm a bit offended. "T-that's rather...that's perverted for y'all to say, SquarePants!"

I asked worriedly, "W-whaddaya mean by that, Sandy?"

"W-what am I sayin' is that you've become a serious ogler, SquarePants. I can't believe you'd do this! D'ya know that you've broken my trust." she spat out. Wow. I've never felt this bad before. It was as if she slapped me across the face (and boy does that hurt).

"Sandy," I said with the most beseeching tone I could muster within me. "I'm so, so sorry. What I did was one of the wrongest things I ever done to you. It's wronger than the time I lied to you that I could breathe air, or when I pretended to die from the ripping my pants joke, and when I took your space ship to the moon without permission, or even the time Squirrel Jokes were a big hit, and do you remember the time where -"

"SpongeBob." she cut me off. "Giving me these example of the past ain't too persuasive as an apology."

Thinking over, I realised that she had a point.

"Oh, I guess you're right." I said with a little bit of embarrassment. "I think what I'm trying to say, Sandy is that my actions truly were atrocious. I was ashamed then, but that didn't stop me. I've got no clue how to make my wrong a right, but I promise that I'll do anything."

Her brows raised at that. "Anything?"

"Anything. Absolutely anything." I affirmed. I'd do anything for Sandy anyawy – she's one of my special friends.

Sandy sighed. "Count yer blessings that we've been friends for more than a decade which is longer than most marriages nowadays. Don't you dare get me wrong, I'm still upset and madder than a bull seeing red. I guess you av' done things just as bad, but..."

"But?"

"Y'all still need a punishment." is what Sandy said with a twinkle in her eye I've never seen before.

I stuttered out, "What k-kind of p-punishment?"

I got no answer for a while, but Sandy just stared at me like predator would to a prey. I know right now that I gulped whatever saliva was in my mouth. I'm scared of her sometimes, a right now is a sometime.

"It's yer unluckly today cause I'mma be yer voyeur, so stay in that bathtub and enthral me, SpongeBob ScopophiliacPants." she declared so explicitly, giving me a smirk which made me feel very, very vulnerable. She can't be serious, can she?

"You mean..."

"Uh-huh." she responded with a nod of her head. "This is payback, you're punishment. Truth is, I ain't ever had the chance in ma life to try voyeurism. The thought ain't ever popped in ma head before, until now. I want y'all to show me why it's such an addictive hobby." she explained. "I'm assumin' it's addictive since you witnessed me nude three times in a row."

Oh, Man. She's not joking. Sandy isn't joking one bit. She literally just sat on a chair and picked up a remote control to turn on the shower I was in. I can feel the water trickling down my clothes.

"Yer clothes, take 'em off!" my voyeur commanded. "don'tcha remember that I wasn't wearing any."

Oh. Dear. Neptune. What have I got myself into now?

* * *

A/N: Poor SpongeBob, he's in for it now!


End file.
